ea Page 1983 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Something To Ease You Off Your Fear Of Clowns
This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage stepdaughter. Freaky, yes, but not as freaky as the Phil Spector mug shot. [The Smoking Gun]...
Cockblocked by Barry Zito. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Potential Vandals Beware: There Are Witnesses
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
LeBron's Departure Helps Tea Party, Political Writers In Desperate Need Of LeBron Angle
It's early, but this story on The Atlantic's web site might just be the most inane, half-assed piece of LeBron punditry you'll read today. Here, I'll summarize: LeBron made Ohio angry. Angry people join the Tea Party. The end....
IT'S FUCKING OVER: LEBRON TO HEAT SAYS... LEBRON
LeBron James made a decision. Here's video....
Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....
DONE FUCKING DEAL! LEBRON TO HEAT, SAYS...SOUTH BEACH PARTY PLANNERS
"LeBron James has rented six cabanas at the W Hotel South Beach this weekend to celebrate his team decision, two sources confirm." [US Magazine, image via Clevescene.com]...
Story On Dean Smith's Failing Health May Give You Some Dust In Your Eye
"People close to the coach say his famous memory is slipping. On some days he doesn't recognize people he has known for years." [Fayetteville Observer]...
Forget About LeBronukkah With This Mindblowing Stop-Motion History Of Evolution
Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all with some fine stop-motion animatin'. It features a prokaryote doing a one-hour special called "The Decision." [CultureLab]...
Old Photos From Hulk Hogan's Son's Birthday Party Surface, Depicting Mock Combat, Power Maneuvers, Jorts
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 7
The final game—and shameful, shameful third-place game—is set. But before we get to the prognosticating, let's look at today's, um, goal, scored to music in a culturally benighted manner. Tune: Kid Frost....
Young Fan's Interference Leads To Mariners Loss, Priceless Expressions Of Wounded Innocence
In the eighth inning last night, Russell Branyan hit a chopper down the line that rolled into foul territory and was picked up by a teenager—preventing Ichiro from tying the game. Watch the young man's excitement turn to horror. [MLB.com]...
IT'S A LOCK: LEBRON GOING TO MIAMI, SAYS...STEPHEN A. SMITH
"For the record: I haven't changed my position. Learn [sic] is going to MIAMI. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong damn it. Stop bugging me until he speaks." [@stephenasmith, image via deviantART]...
World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Spain
Many are calling this "the real championship game" or something along those lines. I don't know though. Germany's been dominant (save that troublesome loss to Serbia) while Spain has looked ... lucky? Competent? Which side wins out? Comment as you watch, please....
Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 6
Before today's big game, let's look back on yesterday's action, and let's be really culturally insensitive while we're at it. Enjoy....
Unfortunately Named Sprinter Defeats Amusingly Named Sprinter
Walter Dix beat out Tyson Gay in the 200m at this weekend's Prefontaine Classic, leading Reuters to produce lots of muffled laughter with this headline. [Reuters]...
One Middle Finger For Each Star Headed To The Heat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Paraguay Cellphone-Boobs Girl Says She's Received Creepy Death Threat. Or Something. (Update)
Larissa Riquelme — aka Paraguay Girl, aka Cellphone-Boobs Girl — has taken to Facebook to alert everyone that she is being threatened! Possibly! The Google-translated message after the jump....
Rick Reilly® Talks To Lance Armstrong's Ass Again
Rick Reilly's annual exercise in mistaking Lance Armstrong for Saint Sebastian is upon us, and once again it finds our correspondent at his subject's massage table, taking in the view....
The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....