ea Page 1994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The One Where Mark Sanchez Goes To A Graduation Party Tonight
Where The Poise is:Mark Sanchez is in the bay area visiting one of "Football's Fabulous Females" and is supposed to join her for a graduation party at The Saddle Rack in Fremont, CA on Saturday night, 5/29...Requesting anonymity. (GQPhotoshoot)...

Oh. Bye.
Have a good vampirey weekend everybody. I'll be back tomorrow dicking around because everyone else deserves a day off. Including you. So stop by only if necessary. And God bless The Starter Wife....

In Honor Of Memorial Day, Here's A Photo Of A Marine With Sarah Palin Tattooed On His Ass
That butt belongs to Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin "Gus" Lepping, an explosive ordnance disposal tech serving in Afghanistan. Reasoning: "What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?" [Battle Rattle]...

Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Gary Coleman Dead at 42, 4'8"
Gary Coleman, the former child star of Diff'rent Strokes and California gubernatorial candidate has passed away after suffering a brain hemorrhage. [People, East Bay Express]...

Colombia Robbed By “Scantily Clad Girls” At World Cup Hotel
Probably not the headline Danny Jordaan, head of South Africa's World Cup bid, wants to be reading over his Corn Flakes just two weeks before the tournament starts. ...

The One Where Nyjer Morgan Poops In A Gatorade Bottle
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Here's Urban Meyer's Daughter Because It's Friday, And Other Things Of Note
It's a three-day weekend so things are going to be a little looser than usual around these parts. Especially today. At 12 p.m. I'll be doing a live chat in the comments section. Bring your questions, your ire, your cookie sheets....

Lakers Win Officially Destroys Rock-N-Roll
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Starbucks Promotion Turned Into Yet Another SuperSonics Protest
The coffee giant's "We love you Seattle" Facebook page is under siege from angry NBA lovers, because they blame CEO Howard Schultz for selling off their beloved team. Yep, Sonics fans are never letting this one go. [SunBreak]...

Mariners Fan Loses Bet, Dignity
Last weekend, the Padres and Mariners faced off at Safeco Field. San Diego took two of three, and one fellow on the wrong end of a bet produced this oddly whisper-filled love letter to the Padres. H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos....

Golden Tate Sings Taylor Swift
When you're asked to croon a few lines from your favorite Taylor Swift song, the only correct answer is "I don't know any." Golden Tate does not give the correct answer....

Argentine National Team Given Go-Ahead To Hump Its Way To World Cup Glory
Argentina's World Cup doctor says the squad will be allowed to sleep with "regular partners...without champagne or other drinks" during the tournament since sex is "not a problem in itself." Given recent events, Maradona's response to this news will be exquisite. [iAfrica.com]...

Mushroom Tea Murder: Man Removes Friend's Still-Beating Heart
After taking psychedelic mushrooms, a California man gouged out his MMA training partner's heart, eyes and tongue, all while he was still alive. Witness testimonies detail the two men's increasing paranoia as it spiraled out of control....

This Is What Orson Welles Sounds Like When He's Drunk
Here's a delightful set of outtakes from a Welles commercial for Paul Masson wines. As the old adage says: If the check clears, Orson Welles'll shill for your crappy products, but don't expect him to be sober doing it. [Pursuitlist via NYMag]...

Minor League Giveaway Just A Little Bit Racist?
Do you see anything wrong with this Ryan Howard lawn jockey — sorry, "garden gnome" — giveaway? The Reading Phillies don't. But then, maybe we shouldn't expect a Reading Rainbow Coalition from Central Pennsylvania. [Inquirer]...

PR Guy Gets A Little Handsy With TV Reporter
Click to view All Dan Noyes wanted to do was interview a woman about a hospital gift fund. He was rudely intercepted by the hospital's very touchy-feely communications director. Unstoppable force, immovable object, etc. Video after the jump. [SFGate, video via Today's Big Thing]...

Big Ben Combines His Love Of Bullies, Commerce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

North Korean Soccer Gear Is Must-Have Irony Of The Season
Your friend who always has to be "That Guy" is probably one of the many "collectors" searching for a DPRK soccer kit as we speak. Maybe you could score a game-worn in exchange for a loaf of bread. [WSJ]...

Do You Believe In Unexplained Mystical Phenomenon?
Can Orlando continue to keep things interesting? Or will Boston continue to annoy everyone by being Boston? Consider the possibilities as you settle in for another night of learning and loving. Unless there's something I don't know about. Okay, then......