ea Page 1996 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Suddenly, The Blackhawks Aren't So Likable
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sex Slavery, The Internet, And The Wisdom Of Crowds
At 3:09 p.m. Wednesday, a user named "fake" posted a thread titled "Help me help my friend in DC" to the seemingly staid "travel & transportation" section of Ask MetaFilter. What's happened since then is your feel-good-while-feeling-bad story of the day....

Gay Mexican Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

World Cup Profile: USA
Today, it's the turn of those lovely American chaps, who will be seriously attempting to urinate on England's chips during the group stages. But can they do it? And, more importantly, who ARE these people? Read on to find out…...

Today, In Sentences That Makes Less Sense Each Time You Read Them
"Anna Lovato took a ride on the mechanical penis, met Miami Heat basketball star Michael Beasley; and joined Natasha Marley for a ride on the sexy see-saw with dildo." [Rising Star PR]...

Last Night's Winner: The Rest Of The NFC North
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Tarvaris Jackson's chances of starting, which look pretty bright since Brett Favre has hitched his latest comeback to the hopes of a long-shot college baseball team....

And On The Eighth Day, God Ejected Lasorda
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Doping Allegations Send Lance Armstrong('s Bike) Into Tailspin
Lance Armstrong says he has "nothing to hide" and that Floyd Landis' doping accusations are "sad." Then he promptly crashed his bike during the Tour of California. Coincidence? (Yeah, probably. It happens all the time.) [ESPN/Yahoo; Photo: AP]...

Genius Philly Fan Posts The License Plate He Stole From Montreal Writer Online
Everyone knows that all crimes committed immediately following a significant hockey victory cannot be prosecuted under the law, but that rule has always assumed that the suspects aren't complete blockheads who don't know how to keep their mouth shut....

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

High School Ballers Double-Team An Alley-Oop
During Saturday's Nike Tournament of Champions, teammates Eric Ferguson and Memphis-signee Jelan Kendrick threw down maybe the only four-handed alley-oop you'll ever see. We've set it to music. [Video via The Dagger; tunes via Lakmé and Mallika]...

Homeless Man Hops Wall, Strolls Across Outfield To Get To Concession Stand
The man interrupted the Altoona Curve's game because "he was thirsty from drinking vodka," so he hopped the outfield wall and made a beeline for the food stand. Actually, that does sound more pressing than completing a Double-A baseball game....

Santana Moss Is Your PED Bogeyman Of The Moment
According to the Washington Post, Moss received SCARY SCARY DRUG Human Growth Hormone from Canadian pixie Anthony Galea. [Washington Post]...

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Mitt
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Floyd Landis Admits To Blood Doping, Claims Lance Armstrong Did It Too
Despite years of denials, disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is spilling his guts about his career-long use of blood doping and performance-enhancing drugs—and claiming that Lance Armstrong taught him how to do it....

Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....

Soccer Commentary Can Be Hard To Understand But This Is Ridiculous (Video)
Click to view Tossing it down to a reporter on the scene always carries the risk of going haywire. That was the unfortunate case recently when British soccer's answer to Tony Siragusa was asked if there were any updates about the game. [Today's Big Thing]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Junkyard Dog
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Junkyard Dog, who died in a one-car accident in 1998....

This Is What Happens When You Do Ecstasy At Home By Yourself In Your Underwear
He actually took a sedative to calm himself down a bit. Then, of course, he strips and dances around with a pacifier in his mouth. Because it's rave or die time, I assume. Mesmerizing. [ViaAlexBlagg'sTwitter]...