ea Page 1998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cleveland Luminaries Join Forces To Win LeBron's Heart Through Terrible Song (CARL MONDAY UPDATE)
UPDATE: Yeah, that's Carl Monday at the 1:57 mark....

Does "Die Hard Cards Fan" Have To Spell It Out For You?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cavs-Celtics: Your NBA Playoff Open Thread
Watch LeBron James disappoint every single sportswriter in the universe again. Or watch him take one step closer to earning their forgiveness. [Yahoo!]...

Free Nohjay Nimpson!
We're down to the Elite Eight in the always-excellent Name Of The Year tournament. So go cast your vote to ensure that Nohjay Nimpson and God's Power Offor continue on. [NOTY]...

News Anchor Asks, "So She's Enjoying Penis A Little Bit More?"
At the end of a segment on a "the G-shot", ABC 26 anchor Michael Hill asked reporter Catherine Shreves a question that made it quite apparent he has no idea how banter works. Video after the jump....

Vegas Train War! Another L.A.-To-Vegas Train Will Get Gamblers There Slower, But Drunker
Alissa Walker over at Fast Company brings us news today of an intriguing development in train travel and degeneracy. Click through to read....

Chelsea And Man City Use Mind Games To Tempt Torres
There will, of course, be much speculation over the summer as to where Fernando Torres might end up, and at the moment, the choices seem to be forking out in four directions....

Texas Fan Celebrates His New Souvenir With A Double-Barreled Salute
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Headlines That Get Funnier After Midnight: "Tiger Penis Found At Auckland Airport"
Not a surprise, really ... but how does that explain the neck problem? [Stuff.co.nz]...

Man Gets Hit By Car, Doesn't Drop Baby In His Arms
This incredible video shows Australian Andrew Leitch getting his legs crushed by a runaway car, but somehow holding on to his four-month son, who was completely unharmed. A few NFL teams could use a pair of hands like that. [CBS6/DailyIQ]...

Why Won't You Die, Montreal?
For the second time in two rounds, the eighth-seeded Canadiens have won a Game 7, on the road, knocking off both the President's Trophy winner and the defending champs. Obviously, we'll have to kill them in our dreams....

Even More Pukey, Poopy, And Sexy Sorority Formal Action
Miami University's Alpha Xi Delta sorority has gotten themselves into some hot water of their own over their own outrageous, sex 'n' booze-infused soiree at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center this past March. [Cincinnati.com, Homer247.com]...

Mariners Circle The Wagons After Griffey Nap Flap
Guess whose fault it was that published reports said Ken Griffey Jr. was asleep in the clubhouse during a game? Well, if you ask the Mariners, it was anyone's fault but Griffey's....

The Earth Hates The Canadiens
A Quebec family had just seen the Habs take the lead in game 6 Monday night, when...well, you can see the photo. Their house pretty much disappeared into the ground....

Arkansas School For The Deaf's Team Nickname? The Leopards, Of Course
Why isn't it spelled "Leppard?" Other names considered by the ASFTD: "Jam," "Dumb and Blind," "Tones," "Arkansas School For The Deaf, Mos" [ASFTD]...

Tim Donaghy's Bad Beat Of The Week: An Ice-Bucket Night In Miami
A weekly feature in which Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, tells us a sad gambling story. The standard caveats apply....

The Phillies Are Probably Stealing Signs. So What?
After the Rockies accused Philadelphia of using binoculars to steal signs from the bullpen, MLB checked the video, and sure enough, they issued the Phillies a warning. We don't really see the problem with this....

The Mets Know How To Seize, Uh ... An Opportunity
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dave Bliss, Terrible Human Being Of Note, Now Shaping The Minds Of Tomorrow
Congratulations to Dave Bliss, the former Baylor coach, who, despite having presided over one of college sports' ugliest episodes, and despite having enlisted his team in an effort to smear a player, Patrick Dennehy, who had just been murdered by a teammate......

This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....