ea Page 2086 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Old Guys Reenact High School Football Game To Settle Unholy 1993 Tie
It's all been done before in the film Best of Times, but never in real life have members of rival high school football teams met more than a decade later to decide ultimate bragging rights....

The One With Competitive Fanny Coughs And Belichick's Casual Wear
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Learning English The Kornheiser And Wilbon Way
I'm not sure how often "Stick a fork in them, the run is over, Wilbon," comes up in normal conversation, but if it does, these Chinese students learning English have that situation covered....

Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....

Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....

Tony Allen Is Not Very Popular In Chicago
Boston Celtics' guard Tony Allen apparently has angered some Chicago-area individuals so much they have threatened to kill him, prompting Tom Clancy-like security for him during last night's Bulls/Celtics game at the United Center....

Our Two Greatest Leaders Make A Pact To Save The World
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap (Photo: Orlando Sentinel)...

ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...

Steve Nash Must Be Stopped Before He Directs Again
In his directorial debut, Steve Nash frolicked with Baron Davis on a tandem bike. Now there's Superbadge, starring Shaquille O'Neal and Alando Tucker as cops. This can't be good for anyone. [NBA.com]...

Jeremy Tyler Is Too Cool For School
Sorry Rick Pitino; Jeremy Tyler will not need your services in 2011. In fact, not only is the 6-foot-11 center bypassing Louisville to play in Europe, he's even skipping his senior year of high school....

You Are The Falcon, And I Shall Remain...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Minor League Bat Dog Ejected For Foul Ball
Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball fetching dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, was relieved of his duties after relieving his own uh..."duty" on the field mid-game. That's a crap call. [Triad]...

NCAA Sanctions Div. I Beach ... Er, Sand Volleyball
Sport to get underway in 2010-11, but NCAA changes name from "beach" to "sand" so that landlocked schools don't get depressed. [ESPN]...

100-Year-Old Red Sox Bat Boy Says It's Go Time
Having learned from the Cubs that to reject a centenarian fan means certain doom, the Boston Red Sox are employing the spry Arthur Giddon as a bat boy for one batter on Saturday....

New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...

Michael Phelps Finds Miss California Intellectually Stimulating
No more of this Miss California runner-up action for Michael Phelps. Apparently, he's decided that he will no longer settle for anything but the real thing with the crown....

Oh, Poor Lindsay Soto
Breasts have always been one of the biggest drawbacks for female sports reporters. Show too much, you're a bimbo. Show too little, you'll be replaced by someone who shows too much....

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....