ea Page 2137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kyle Orton Solemnly Vows To Never Be Drunk On Camera Again
That's his promise. In his new role as the Bears starting quarterback, Orton has sworn that he's all business and that his hard-partying days of internet lore are long behind him. He's a new man — a married man — who won't give his teammates a reason to question his leadership abilities this time ar...

NFL Season Previews: Baltimore Ravens
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to fucking finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running ...

NFL Season Preview: Jacksonville Jaguars
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to fucking finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running ...

NFL Season Preview: New England Patriots
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to fucking finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running ...

NFL Season Preview: New Orleans Saints
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...

NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these preview...

Read Former Utah Jazz Center Mark Eaton's Screenplay: Riding the Bench
Everyone believes they have a screenplay in them. Your mom, your unemployed uncle, and anyone else who has ever watched a movie. Including 7'4 former Utah Jazz Center Mark Eaton. But most of these screenplays never see the light of day, which is fortunate. Not so with the first eight pages of Eaton...

Your Emeritus' Smattering Of NFL Predictions
When I was running this here site, I tried to do as few predictions as possible, because I have no idea what I'm talking about. That is to say: I know as much as everybody else. Sure, I could say something like, "I was talking to John Fox in practice the other day, and he feels really strongly abou...

NFL Season Preview: New York Giants
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...

Floyd Mayweather Missing $7 Million In Jewelry After Robbery
Which is a real shame because Mayweather was using the $7 million in jewelry as a hedge against inflationary pressures brought on by the falling dollar and the continuing mortgage crisis. That or it was just sitting around in his house on the night of August 17th between 7 and 9 when it suddenly di...

NFL Season Preview: Cincinnati Bengals
We're less than 24 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...

It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig
Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried t...

UCF Conference Call Takes a Detour Through Phone Sex Line
Fresh off a 17-0 victory over South Carolina State, the University of Central Florida set up a conference call with Notre Dame coach for a day, George O'Leary. Which would have been great. Except the released number was one-digit off and was actually a phone sex line. Uh oh. Cue the intrepid report...

The Beijing Bureau Says Goodbye
The Olympics have ended, yet our three young lads who dutifully covered them for Deadspin for the past month are still there. They've requested a farewell post. Here it is. Things are pretty quiet here at the Bureau now that the Olympics have (mercifully) ended. Media organizations around the world ...

A Tale Of Two Cycles
I guess Stephen Drew isn't a big name, except for writers of slash fiction. All he did on Monday was hit for the cycle, and AP called him Scott Drew (11th graph). Later Monday, Adrian Beltre also hit for the cycle. What are odds of two players hitting for the cycle on the same day? About the same as...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Kiss August Goodbye
What to watch while Sussman's 8-Bit nightmares become a reality... • In progress — Sport: US Open Third and Fourth Round Coverage [CBS] - Sure is windy there today. • 1:30 — Sport: Beach Volleyball - AVP Crocs Tour Women's Championship [NBC] - May-Treanor and Walsh versus Non-Brazilians. • 1:30 — S...

Utes and Young Manhood
Nice storyline from today's Michigan/Utah game: Paul Kruger, victim of a vicious stabbing earlier this year, is playing for the Utes. Utah's starting defensive end, along with his younger brother Dave and teammate Greg Newman, were attacked back in January by a group of unknown tough guys outside a ...

High School Kicker Booted Off Team for Acting Like, Being Girl
Let this be a lesson to all young girls out there: nothing positive can come from having Kathy Ireland as a role model. Kacy Stuart, prospective place kicker for McDonough, Georgia's New Creation Center high school, has been booted from the team for having the audacity to not be born a dude. Kacy ha...

Just Don't Follow Him to Any Golden Clubs
You've got to give the kid credit: he does not shy away from insurmountable expectations. After following in his father's legendary footsteps at Georgetown, Patrick Ewing Jr., son of NBA Hall of Famer (scans NBA almanac) Patrick Ewing, is now a New York Knick. It's already Junior's third team, and h...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem
What to watch while praying David Duchovny gets the help he needs... • In progress — Sport: U.S. Open Tennis Third Round Coverage [CBS] - Admit it: you need your Mary Carillo fix. • 12:00 — Sport: Syracuse at Northwestern [ESPN2] - Why should the ranked teams get all the love? • 3:00 — Sport: PGA To...