ea Page 2147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sean Avery Will Now Have To J.O. To Dallas Ladies
Well, isn't that fitting. Fashion-friendly hockey menace Sean Avery gets savaged by Gawker due to his "I'm Going Home To Jerk Off To You Now" comment at a Paris fashion show and then signs a 4-year deal with the Dallas Stars. The Stars are excited about his hockey skills more than his masturbatio...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Stay Classy, Red Sox Nation
In case you missed this in our early-morning video montage, a reminder that the Red Sox and their fans are secure with their recent championships, and do not begrudge other up-and-coming teams a little success of their own....

The Baron Of Clipperland
Baron Davis will do anything for love, but he won't do that. And by "that" I mean "be low-balled by the Golden State Warriors." Even if it means jumping ship and joining his hometown Clippers....

Mike And The Mad Dog: Divorce Inevitable?
Newsday's Neil Best broke the news that New York's all-world radio yappers "Mike and the Mad Dog" may soon be no more and, now, more theories emerge that this could actually happen sooner than later....

Greetings, Spinheads: Another Deadspin State Of The Champion Address
We enter Day 2 of the post-Leitchian era on Deadspin and today (hopefully) there will be no more unforeseen meltdowns....

Dwyane Wade Becomes Unwitting Spokesman In China
Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business ...

Warriors To Be Decidedly Less Whiskery In 2009
OK, it's not a lock that Baron Davis is leaving the Warriors. But by opting out of the final year of his contract — leaving $17.8 million on the table in the process — it's pretty clear that there was more to that dustup with Don Nelson in the Phoenix game than we were told. But while that may be tr...

A-Rod's Late Night Creep Sessions With Madonna Reach Day Two Of Gossip News Cycle
Yesterday, OK! magazine reported the wobbly speculation about the odd, possibly steamy friendship brewing between Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez and divorce-bound old lady singer, Madonna. The two were apparently seen "working out together" on numerous occasions and Rodriguez is apparently no...

Tropicana Field's Homeland Security Set To "Red" For Black, Latin Red Sox
The Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays are spirited combatants on the field, and after the most recent Coco Crisp/James Shields donnybrook, tensions are running extremely high going into this series. But, this time around, the Sox have much more to worry about than a Scott Kazmir fastball to the ear...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Behold The Money Saving Power of The Patch
However you feel about the Arena Football League being shoved down our throat in that oh-so conflict of interest-y way by ESPN, its most popular team has a pretty cool promotion going on. All citizens living in Morrisville, the hometown of Philadelphia Soul receiver Chris Jackson, are offered free ...

Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....

Marshawn Lynch Ordered Not To Get A Dashboard Hula Girl
Amid the treacly tributes to "Kitty Litter" Leitch yesterday (even ESPN The Magazine had one!!1!!EXCLAMATIONMARK!!), we missed the news that Marshawn Lynch copped to that whole hit-and-run thing that happened in May and as a result had his license suspended. Apparently he wasn't aware he hit anyone...

One More Special Message To Go
• We noticed a slightly tangy flavor in Shaq's ass. • Stephen Jackson's therapeutic measures. • Look! We have video! • And ode to one ol friend. • And some others. • Fun with domestic violence. • Jay Mariotti could use some protection. • Zombie Kickball. • Good grief. • We'll always remembe...

We're Afraid, Dave. We're Afraid.
Look Dave, we can see you're really upset about this. We honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over....

Meet Your New Editor(s)
We were really hoping that, here on our last day, we'd have the opportunity to announce our successor at this here site. It is our pleasure - after quite a bit of back-and-forth and more qualified applicants that we could have possibly imagined - to say, yes, this here site is going to be in fine ha...

Bonnie Bernstein Is Not An Expert On The Middle East
Bonnie Bernstein, everybody's favorite Jersey sideline reporter, has had a relatively quiet couple of years at ESPN. That is, until a couple of days ago, when she made a bit of a verbal misstep on the Mike and Mike show....

Part XI: Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductee...Will Leitch
Well, that was fun, wasn't it? I'd like to thank ALL of our roasters for their contributions to today's festivities. I can't think of a better send-off for our man. I'd also like to thank the always brilliant Jim Cooke for designing the above plaque, at last granting Will Leitch permanent immortali...