ea Page 2188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What, No Facepaint?
For a franchise with such a short and unremarkable history the Carolina Panthers sure seem to attract an odd level of devotion. Most recently a curious young couple thought fit to devote their entire wedding ceremony to the team they love so much....

Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...

The One Day A Year I Wish I Was In Jacksonville
• 12:00 — Ponies: Breeders' Cup World Thoroughbred Championships [ESPN] • 12:00 — CFB: Michigan St. at Iowa [ESPN] • 12:00 — CFB: West Virginia at Rutgers[ABC] • 2:00 — Movie: The Fifth Element [TNT] • 2:30 — Movie: Psycho [AMC] • 3:00 — Movie: Bottle Rocket [HDNTM] • 3:30 — CFB: Clemson at Maryland...

Boston Now Controls Everything. Beware.
• The Red Sox went to the World Series and then started kicking some ass. • One happy Kentucky fan. • We'll call this an agent screwup. • Heath Shuler, still awesome. • Ack! Jason Taylor robot! • Here comes Dennis Miller. • Larry King explodes. • Channing Crowder is smart. • Sorry: Still not worth i...

Hey Kids, It's The Giant Colon!
Seriously, the kids could spend all day playing in the giant colon. And they would, if the state capitol building didn't close at 4. Actually, the display is called "Super Colon and Friends," and is on display in Carson City, Nev., to raise colon cancer awareness. But I just call it fun! (Yes, I ha...

Attica! Attica!
We couldn't explain why we did the things we did. So we went to this psychiatrist who explained to us that we were a woman in a man's body. So Sonny right away wanted to get us money for a sex change operation: but where was he to get that? 2500 dollars! God, he's in hock up to his ears already....

As If Boston Didn't Have A Good Enough Night Already
Not that anyone in Boston saw it last night — seriously, ESPN had to have been cursing the scheduling gods — but Boston College, still ranked No. 2 in the country, garnered its most impressive and dramatic win in a decade...


Maybe Next Time He'll Use Mapquest
Welcome to Long Island; a primitive, lawless land where roving gangs of youth sports parents will take you down like a wounded wildebeast. Snake Pliskin won't even go in there anymore. Last week we told you of the inspiring story of two mob-connected brothers who beat up a Little League coach for be...

Visual Evidence Of Those Bygone Championship Shirts
It is one thing to read about sports leagues giving away incorrectly labeled merchandise like "2006 World Champion Detroit Tigers" or "2004 American League Champion New York Yankees" to the needy in third world countries. It's another all together to actually see a child in Zambia wearing a 2007 Sup...

Shuler Still Playing Bad Football In DC
Stop Shuler, the site that unsuccessfully attempted to keep now-Congressman Heath Shuler from returning to Washington, D.C., would probably have a field day with this: Shuler was the quarterback for the Congressional team in a game against the Capitol Police ... and he got shut out....



Great Moments In Sports Agentry
The man pictured here is Claude Makelele, a midfielder for the Chelsea soccer team. He's married to some model named Noemie Lenoir; we think that's her in the photo, though honestly we have no idea. Anyway, another model says she's being having an affair with him. Who cares, right? Well, check out M...

Mopping Up Chelsea's Mess
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Jake Plummer Is Obsessed With Tiny Blue Balls
It's Sunday, and the following quarterbacks are starting for NFL teams this week: Kerry Collins, Cleo Lemon, Kyle Boller, and Brian Griese. With Timmy Chang probably a Tim Rattay elbow injury away from getting a phone call, some fans are probably amazed that they could use the services Jake Plummer ...

Memorial Stadium, Under The Lights
• Wait. You do it with Derek Jeter and some other lady, and you expect free parking too? Sheesh. • This is not the best way to intimidate Josh Beckett. • The Rockies are in the World Series. • See ya, Torre. • Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Aikman is on line two. • Bill Simmons, mo-capped. • Those diligent beat rep...

Whatever You Do, Don't Fall Asleep
Oh, God, we could be bounded in a nutshell, and count ourselves a king of infinite space, were it not that we have bad dreams....

Live Blogging The Torre Press Conference
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving "his side" of the story....