ea Page 2214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shane Victorino And His Skirt Can Be On Your Dashboard
Pity poor Shane Victorino. The Phillies outfielder/journeyman is being honored with his own figurine at a Phillies game on June 3, which has to be a thrill for any major league baseball player. (It was certainly a thrill for Mr. Celery!) Why Shane Victorino? Well, he's Hawaiian, and that makes him u...

Hello, SPORTS FAN, Allow Us To Tell You About LOCAL SPORTS FRANCHISE
We understand that the WNBA is doing everything in its power to increase its fanbase or, more accurately, survive. One of the keys to this: Making sure "mainstream" media outlets cover the team in their pages. But team public relations people can only do so much. Enter form letters fans can send to ...

Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...

Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...

Andy Roddick Is Not That Jacked Up
Last week, TMZ pointed out that the new cover of Men's Fitness featured a suspiciously pumped-up Andy Roddick. Well, Roddick himself has chimed in, in that wonderful English we've come to love and expect from our professional tennis players....

Ken Griffey Jr. Should Be A Billionaire By Now
A sun-splashed Saturday afternoon, on a Little League Field somewhere in America:...

We'd Classify This As A Waste Of Beer
With Leather had this yesterday, but it's too beautiful not to share with you as well: It's Port-a-John racing, in which you run on top of portable urinals and have beers thrown at you. This is exactly what our parents' wedding was like. This is from the Preakness ... of course....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch WATCHING JOHN RAMBO... • AFL: New Orleans at Philadelphia. Much, much better than the lawnmower races. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Some sort of rivalry exists, we read somewhere. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 1. This just in: LeBron ...

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....

Chelsea Are Your FA Champions
It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack."...

This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...

You're 32 Years Old, And You've Achieved Nothing. Jesus Christ Was Dead And Alive Again By 33. You Better Get Crackin'.
Think of it as a hobby. Something you do to relax. You're an "assassination enthusiast."...

That's Not How Personal Training Typically Works
The Arena Football League is full of happy success stories. Kurt Warner. That weird video game that's oddly fun to play. Jon Bon Jovi. And now, to add to the list, the high school coaching adventures of Tom Porras, a former AFL quarterback. He was fired last week as track coach (and "personal traine...

About Last Night ...
What you missed after the knitting accident ... • NHL: Over? Did you say over? Nothing's over until we decide it is! Sabres 3, Senators 2. • NBA: Not many people happy with David Stern right now. Spurs 88, Suns 85. • MLB: John Lackey is the wind beneath our wings. Angels 5, Mariners 0....

What To Do While Bored At RFK
Last night, at RFK Stadium in DC, the Washington Nationals hosted the Atlanta Braves in a game that counted an official total of 21,258 fans. (To which we say: Yeah, right.) With the upper deck almost entirely empty — we know how this goes — one dastardly fan decided to try to construct a word out o...

How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

Carmelo Anthony Should Live Rather Comfortably
Over the weekend, The Rocky Mountain News told the tale of Carmelo Anthony's new pad in suburban Denver. (Via Slushy Gutter.) The place originally was listed at $17 million, but its price was "slashed" to a far more modest $11.95 million. Some great factoids:...

Ken Griffey Jr. Knows How To Deal With Hecklers
Because it's apparently an all-jockstrap Monday here at Deadspin, here's an outstanding heckler story involving Ken Griffey Jr. from over the weekend at Dodger Stadium....