ea Page 2215 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Taint Sweat Sold Separately
Say what you will about the intensity of Bears fans, but some bits of memorabilia are out of the range of reasonable and rational thought, even to them....

Reintroducing Jack Cust
Anyone who has paid attention the world of sabermetrics and Baseball Prospectus over the last few years is probably familiar with Jack Cust. For years, he was that supposed slugging Colorado catcher we were all waiting to take over the National League, the guy we hoped no one else in our fantasy lea...

The Edge Of Wetness
The other day we reported on the glory that is Pee Your Pants For The Brewers, the site that wants you to pledge to pee your pants should Milwaukee win the NL Central (no fair buying pre-peed pants). In less than a week, an additional 1,644 people have vowed to wet themselves should the Brewers do t...

Greetings From The South Side!
• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise. • Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts. • See ya, Chelsea. • ESPN is full of it. Who knew? • The Brewers will make you pee. • Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all. • We love a good Star Wars nerd. • Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is b...

What Will Be The Next Health-Oriented Ballpark Promotion?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping. Now We're Sleeping With You. Don't Wake Up.
He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world, or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets....

Please Keep Six Feet Between You And The Cavs Dancers
Currently, in the Ohio (of course) legislature, there's a bill attempting to define what constitutes a strip club and how they should be governed (for example, they're considering not allowing dancers to perform after midnight and instituting a six-foot buffer between dancer and patron). But yesterd...

You Will Honor "God Bless America," Or The Yankees Will Have You Shot
We want to make this absolutely clear: We love America. We love it. We love the freedom to speak our mind, we love we are allowed to wear American flag underpants, we love that we can super size any combo meal, regardless of which sandwich we choose. We love it here....

Steve McNair, The Non-Driving Drunk Driver
So Ravens quarterback Steve McNair was arrested in Nashville this morning for a DUI, which is impressive considering he wasn't driving the car....

Welcome To The World League
In one of those glorious creations that could have only come about thanks to the Internet, we proudly introduce you — if you didn't already know — to The World League....

Look, Another Steroids Story
Poor George Mitchell. Most people thought his steroids investigation into baseball was doomed more than a year ago, when it began, because if you don't have to talk to a guy like that, why would you? What, this guy's gonna bust this wide open? George Mitchell is a respected public figure, but, you k...

You Will Watch The Ads, And You Will Like Them
Proving once again that if there's something that's convenient and pleasing to the consumer people wearing fancy ties will ruin it, it turns out ABC and ESPN have figured out a way to disable to fast-forward function to zip past commercials....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....

Kevin Kolb Will Cut You
For this still wondering why the Eagles used their first draft choice on a quarterback, this might shed some light on the situation: Kevin Kolb really loves stabbing and gutting wild pigs....

Floyd Mayweather, Preparing For Rain
After his loss to Floyd Mayweather on Saturday night, Oscar de la Hoya likely went home, drank some tea, filed some financial papers, played with his kid, maybe reviewed some business endeavors. Mayweather, on the other hand, did something else entirely....

Mariners 3, Yankees 2: Major League Baseball Regrets The Error
Notes on a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....

When Baseball Players Act Like They Want To Fight
In the wake of Roger Clemens' "Look at ME!" announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo "lemme at 'em!" brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actuall...

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...

Dancing On Chelsea's Grave
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....