ea Page 2252 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Championship Parades Are No Fun
We've always wondered what it would be like to go to a championship parade for one of our favorite teams, but every time we get excited about the notion, the bastards go and, say, lose eight games in a row and ruin it for us. But still. We imagine it Albert Pujols riding by in a float, throwing us c...
What We're All About Here
Since apparently there's some new traffic coming here today, from perhaps the least likely of sources, we felt it important to introduce newcomers with a little glimpse of what we're all about. And that, friends, is, of course, the great Carl Monday. We're the guy at the computer. Really. That's us....
Joe Mikulik, The Day After
We know you couldn't possibly have gotten enough of the great Joe Mikulik yesterday, so here's some more from everyone's favorite minor league manager. First, here's video from the stands, one long unbroken take that starts with the now infamous stolen base and ends with Mikulik exiting stage right ...
We'd Like To Have An Argument, Please
The scores are in, and Asheville Tourists manager Joe Mikulik gets an overall 9.6 from the judges for his zany tirade during his team's Class A game on Sunday night in Lexington, Ky. This one had it all, including not only on-field antics, but quotes afterward, and the piling of two water coolers ...
You Stay White, Miami
At the end of yesterday's victory parade for the Miami Heat, Shaq grabbed the microphone and asked, "Who wanna see Coach Riley dance?" For reasons I can't begin to understand, the people of Miami responded affirmatively, and then the following took place:...
Andre Agassi Retirement Tour Set To Commence
Andre Agassi is going to play one last Wimbledon, and then end his career on the hardcourts of the U.S. Open. He announced his impending retirement this morning, along with his intention of playing a full summer schedule, with his career concluding in Flushing, NY at this year's U.S. Open....
The French Are Shockingly Persistent With This
The French media's treatment of Lance Armstrong is starting to make the American media's treatment of Barry Bonds look downright Jason McElwain-ish. They're still hung up on the idea that they can somehow prove that Lance Armstrong used steroids, EPO, or some other sort of performance enhancer....
Week In Deadspin: The Many Names Of Jay Mariotti
• The Mets, on the whole, are fairly tame partiers. • Hockey ended. • Mickey Mantle, charmer. • David Hirshey was consistently awesome all week. • Was that really YWML on "TRL? Yipes ... it really was. • Michael Doleac, NBA champion. • You might have noticed this, but we did a lot of World Cup live ...
Live Blog: Switzerland Vs. Korea Republic
The tightest of all the groups, Group G has three teams all with legitimate chances at making it into the next round. But these are the only two who control their proverbial destiny. The winner here automatically wins the Group and advances to play Ukraine next Monday. A draw means all kinds of ch...
We Don't Know If There's Anything Wrong With Us Because We Don't Know How Other People Are
We didn't ask for a shrink; that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't ours. Also, we're wearing this suit today because we had a very important meeting this morning and we don't have a crying problem....
How Not To Run A Cheerleading Squad
As Every Day Should Be Saturday put it, this is a story that's best read while listening to the "Benny Hill Show" music....
The Deal With The TRL Thing
Back when we announced the sale of the "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirts, we promised a free post for whichever reader was able to feature the shirt on national television. But we — obviously — never dreamed it would be the host of TRL....
The Faces Of Champions
That's right, folks, the wait is over: Antoine Walker, Shandon Anderson and Michael Doleac are finally champions....
Heat Win First-Ever Title, And Even Cuban's Classy About It
Even though their apparently show their loyalty by dressing up like Klan members — even when they're not actually at the arena in which the games are being played, like in this picture — and even though they don't have an owner whose brain is always on the verge of a noisy (and always smart and en...
YWML Suddenly Huge With 13-Year-Olds
Out of the wilderness, from the depths of madness, comes a strange, unlikely hero. He's got spikey hair, a nifty blazer and a T-shirt he holds close to his heart. His day job might seem like it would fall outside your particular spectrum of interest, but don't fret: There's a twinkle there, a tiny g...
And Without Any Further Blowups ... Game 6
Difficult to add much more to everything else that's out there: It's Game 6, the Heat are a game away from winning the NBA Title, Mark Cuban is $250,000 lighter and downright dog-nutty, Dwyane Wade getting his legend on and the referrees looking over their shoulders, making sure no one's got a shi...
Maurice Drew Doesn't Hate Your Nerd Ass That Much After All
If case you didn't remember, former UCLA running back (and now Jacksonville Jaguars rookie) Maurice Drew had been implicated in the Los Angeles Denny's incident in which Bears safety Ricky Manning and pals beat up a guy for using a laptop. (We're sure this happens to Cuban all the time.)...
Is Mark Cuban Going Insane?
We feel we have to legitimately ask: Is Mark Cuban losing his mind?...
Let Us Now Read From The Book Of Dwyane
Christ loves basketball, of that we're certain. But there is no clue in the scriptures, as far as we can tell, as to which city Jesus would have preferred; Dallas or Miami. We can't really picture Him in either place, quite frankly. But we did find this over on Dave Barry's blog, so all of you Da ...
Howard's Boner (Or, Why Refs Are A Natural Male Enhancement)
Another reason that it would have been more fun to live in the early 1900s rather than now — also on the list: speakeasies, jalopies, no Internet — is the fact that they used the word "boner" to describe embarrassing mental missteps. We wish this were still true today; we'd have Buckner's boner, W...