We Don't Know If There's Anything Wrong With Us Because We Don't Know How Other People Are

We didn't ask for a shrink; that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't ours. Also, we're wearing this suit today because we had a very important meeting this morning and we don't have a crying problem.

Healthy Choice and American Airlines got together and made this promotion: If you buy any 10 Healthy Choice products, they will reward you with 500 frequent flier miles. With this special coupon, they'll up it to 1,000 miles. So, we think they are trying to push their teriyaki chicken, which is $1.79, but we went to the supermarket, and we looked around, and we saw that they had pudding for 25¢ a cup, comes in packages of four. But — and this is insane — the barcodes are on the individual cups! So, quarter a cup; say you bought $2.50 worth. That's worth 500, and with the coupon it's 1,000 miles. It's a marketing mistake, but we're taking advantage of it. If you were to spend $3,000, that would get you a million frequent flier miles. You would never have to pay for a ticket the rest of your life.

Our advertisers just want to fuckin' smash our face with a sledgehammer and squeeze it because we're so pretty. Click here to join them.

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