ea Page 2253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Heat/Mavs Game Five: The Lack Of Stack
Game Five of the NBA Finals will serve as your capper to an excellent sports weekend. And there's certainly no lack of intrigue for tonight's game. The Heat have all the momentum. The Mavs can't stop Dwyane Wade and his myriad of injuries and ailments. Dirk Nowitzki has gone into hiding. Avery Joh...

Checking In At The World Cup...
Brazil 2-0 Australia. It might just be me, but does Brazil seem a little but underwhelming thus far? They seemed lethargic in their 1-0 win over Croatia, and all anyone could talk about afterwards was Ronaldo's apparent tubbiness, and Australia really gave them all they wanted today. They do not l...

All You Ever Wanted To Know About The Billings Mustangs...
Matt Bender has done a lot of things. He's had guns pointed at him while covering the "Freeman Standoff" in Jordan, he's sold laminate flooring, bedazzled leather cowboy outfits, been a bouncer, and scored games for the minor league Billings Mustangs. He's now ascended to the position of assistant g...

Jerry Stackhouse And Common Sense Have Been Suspended
Jerry Stackhouse was found to be in violation of the NBA's strict "Do Not Touch Shaquille O'Neal" policy yesterday, as the league announced that it was suspending him for Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Stackhouse committed a hard foul on Shaq as the big man was driving for a lay-up. Have a look:...

Week In Deadspin: Don't Drink And Whine
• What happens when you drink three Zimas. • Mean things to do to your baby. • When they said Ben Roethlisberger needed to get it through his thick skull, that's not quite what they meant. • Guess what, folks? Turns out we suck at soccer. • David Hirshey is a much better writer than we are. • We've ...

Power To The People
In the category of "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?", we bring you this: the Schaumburg Flyers, a Northern League (Independent) baseball team near Chicago, will let fans manage the team for the second half of the season. In conjunction with LivePlanet and Microsoft's MSN, who are hpoing to cash in w...

Pull The String! Pull The String!
This story's gonna grab people. It's about this guy, he's crazy about this girl ... but he likes to wear dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama!...

And Here Come The Heat
As True Hoop pointed out this morning, this guy must feel like a complete idiot right now....

Hey, Remember These Guys?
Not to remain so firmly ensconced on the jock of Free Darko, but we're completely fascinated with their McSweeney's column today. Namely: Has anybody noticed that Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are playing in this series? Obviously, Dirk and Shaq and Wade and Cuban are the headliners of the ser...

Jamie Farr And Minor League Baseball: The Perfect Mix
Longtime readers know of our fascination with minor league baseball promotions, and here's one of our favorites: The Altoona Curve are hosting a Retro Celebrity Series, in which TV stars from the distant haunt the aisles of the Blair County Ballpark....

Did The Heat Really Make This A Series?
After staying up too late watching basketball, we woke up this morning ready to survey the NBA world's presumed newfound excitement over the NBA Finals, which showed some signs of life last evening. But that's not what we found....

Dwyane Wade: Kind Of Fun To Watch
This mighty pretty Getty Images photo, taken during one of Dwyane Wade's many free throws tonight, pretty much sums up everything we just saw: Everywhere we looked, there was Dwyane Wade, and there was Dwayne Wade only....

Is This It For Shaq, Wade And Riley?
Well, if you're not too busy waving David Hasselhoff masks like a maniac, you should certainly be intrigued by tonight's NBA Finals Game 3. The Heat obviously have to win, and the game is perhaps as important to Shaquille O'Neal's legacy as it is to Pat Riley and the rest of the Heat. Even Dwyane ...

Live Blog: Korea Republic Vs. Togo
As you would probably expect, it's not good when your coach leaves the team immediately before the biggest three matches of your life. Of course, it's also not good when your team is Togo, so there's that....

Your Arena Bowl Champions: The Chicago Rush (As If You Didn't Know)
Somewhere deep down, Mike Ditka has to be wondering about the irony of it all. In 20 short years he's gone from Baddest Coach on the Planet to someone who actually cares about the outcome of the Arena Bowl. Sad, really. It was in 1986, of course, when Ditka led the Bears to victory in Super Bowl XX,...

Boy, The Heat Sure Look Done Already
As Free Darko pointed out, last night's Mavericks-Heat game was hardly one they'll be showing off on NBA TV in a week. The Mavericks dominated the whole way, and as little fun as it is to pronounce a series over before they even switch venues, it kind of looks like the Heat might be done....

Rileyball To Rear Its Ugly Head
Well, here we go. Pat Riley, shown above after being asked about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's penis, has made clear his intention to ugly up the NBA Finals. They're going to roll with a little more "Rileyball," which is, of course, another term for ugly basketball. For examples, see any of the ...

Week In Review: Life Begins At 45
• Come party with Carl Lewis. • Victor Conte likes to bring the rock. • Who would have thought Jim Bob Cooter capable of such a thing? • It's the NBA Finals, and we can never get enough of our man Mark Cuban. • So did Frank Solich dope himself, or didn't he? • It's ant soccer! • Rick Reilly, stand...

Terrell Owens, Symbol For The Youth
You know, this is the NBA Finals, the World Cup, the start of some obviously exciting baseball pennant races and, of course, ant soccer. One would think it would be our one Terrell Owens-free time of the year....

You Can't Fight In Here! This Is The War Room!
Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face. We can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily f...