ea Page 2256 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Help Wanted In Iowa City
As Illini people, we have no love lost for the Iowa Hawkeyes, but we still have a bit of sympathy for their fans. First came that brutal loss to Northwestern State in the tournament. Another downside to that? It made it less likely that Indiana would come in and swoop the disliked Alford out of Io...

The Miami Heat Bring Much Funk
So maybe this has been around a while, but this is the first we've seen of it: The entire Miami Heat roster has gone throwback, in the style of a 1971-72 team called "The Floridians." It's on the Heat's official site, and, honestly, if all official sites of teams and leagues had as much fun as thi...

The Portrait Of Jamie Moyer
We're hardly big boosters of team public relations people in general, but we will say that we have enjoyed the promotional spots produced by the Seattle Mariners to re-energize fans on the flagging team. Highlights include various people doing Ichiro's bat-point thing out in their every day life, pl...

Today In The Premiership...
• Wigan 1-1 Birmingham. Birmingham plays a quality second half, earning a point against Wigan and keeping themselves out of the league's bottom three. The more I follow soccer, the more I like this relegation idea. Some American sports should really look into it....

Week In Deadspin: Hello, Horsehide
• Florida won the national championship in a tremendously boring Final Four. • Anna Benson renewed our faith in romance. • We introduced the Daily Closer as baseball spread its yearly seed all over our loins yet again. It turned out not to be the best day for Derek Lowe. • Beware of Jenn Sterger's...

Well, Somebody Better Start Making Golic's Tux And Greenberg's Dress
Well, it looks like they're actually going through with this:...

You'll Find A Pair Of Safety Glasses And Some Earplugs Under Your Seat. Please Feel Free To Use Them.
You sponsors have it real easy. We never had it like this where we grew up. But we send our kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich, and you're going to stay rich. But here's our advice to the rest of ...

This Marriage Madness Thing, It's Actually Happening. Really
We didn't listen to ESPN's "Mike And Mike In The Morning" this morning, but we're told the whole "Marriage Mania" business is in its finals, which means, sometime soon, two human beings will enter the bonds of holy matrimony while standing next to a sweaty Mike Golic....

Week In Deadspin: Contracting The Bensons
• Officer Selig Fife is finally on the case. • "Bristol Is Big Ten Country" • George Mason Fever is a contagious condition, and if you don't stop scratching, it'll never go away. • Way too much information from Roger Clemens and Peter King. • The Duke lacrosse team story went from horrifying to "h...

Don't Call Us Stupid
Our sponsors think the Gettsyburg Address is where Lincoln lived....

Another Great Staring-Into-The-Camera Rap
"I have one thing to tell you, T.O.: I. Hate. You. You like writing disses? I can write them right back to you."...

Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....

Your AL West "Preview"
You know, you wouldn't think it would be that hard to predict the winner of the AL West. Jeez, there are only four teams, after all. Yet we always get this division wrong: We always predict the A's at the wrong time. Which is probably not much solace to A's fans right now....

Dhani Jones Has Happy Feet That Can't Be Beat
We have been called a "chronicler of athlete misdeeds," though we think we're a little more optimistic than that; we prefer "chronicle of athlete malfeasance." Or even "athlete tomfoolery." Whichever; pick your poison....

You Can Help Injure Terrell Owens. Please, Give All You Can.
Howard Eskin, a sports radio host in Philadelphia, is raising money in order to pay the fine for any Philadelphia Eagle who "takes out" Terrell Owens. The guy who sent in the tip didn't give a definition for "take out," but given the nature of the Philadelphia sports fan, I have to assume that a s...

Because Of Winn-Dixie
A tipster writes in to tell us about New Orleans Saints defensive end Jimmy Verdon's weekend. Evidently, he got hammered and ended up passed out on a bench in front of a Winn-Dixie and then brawled with the cops who tried to wake him up. Police spokesman Capt. James Gallagher explains....

Week In Deadspin: They Got The Blues, So Bad
• We weep for the little people, we weep for injustice, we weep for lost souls ... oh, how we weep! • Run, run, for the hills! Save yourself! The blogs, they are a-comin'! • Ozzie Guillen will hit you with a chair. • Colin Cowherd is a goddamned pirate! Yar! • Sorry, but murdering the Applebee's g...

We Know. And Such Small Portions.
Hey, sponsors: Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? We think of us that way sometimes and we live here....

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Villanova Vs. Boston College
Villanova Wildcats (27-4) vs. Boston College Eagles (28-7) When: Tonight, 7:10 p.m. Where: Minneapolis...