ea Page 2255 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
And To Think That In Some Countries These Dogs Are Eaten
Excuse us if this is off the subject a little bit ... but just take a guess at how much we can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, maxing out at 400! Ha!...
Heat Take 1-0 Lead Despite Lottery Distractions
It is perhaps telling that, the morning after Shaquille O'Neal and his Miami Heat looked strangely dominant in a Game 1 win over the Pistons, the NBA event that garnered the most online attention was the draft lottery, which was won by the Raptors, who now conveniently aren't run by a moron....
Eastern Conference Pants Party: Pistons Vs. Heat
As disappointed as some of us might be that we didn't get our LeBron-Wade Eastern Conference Final, we have a feeling it'll end up happening someday, somehow. Let's not get greedy just yet. Let's just watch to see if those workmanlike Pistons — who, for all their lack of popularity today, were Ameri...
ESPN Rocks Down Alison Road
An intrepid tipster sends us this beauty of an invite, encouraging ESPN employees to come to the Bristol cafeteria this Friday for that "Mike And Mike In The Morning" wedding and see the Gin Blossoms rock the buffet line like it has never been rocked before....
They Shoot Theismann, Don't They?
The news appears to be improving for Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby winner who went down during the Preakness with a broken hind leg. Not since that Joe Theisman video did we recoil quite so much during a sporting event (we were all sad when they had to shoot Joe in the lockerroom afterwards, weren't...
Barbaro Cheats; Injures Leg; Will Be Served Later With Fried Rice
The Preakness has come to an end, and there was very little drama involved in determining that there will not be a Triple Crown winner this year. Barbaro jumped out of the gate early and tried to get a head start. He had to be calmed a little bit, and they got him back in the gate. When they start...
Week In Deadspin: You're With Us, Neil
• Dirk Nowitzki loves David Hasselhoff. • Even with no mullet, we'll still miss Doug Flutie. • Neil Everett has balls of steel. You're with us, Neil! • Hey, look, it's the Atlanta Hawks mascot on a moped. • Ron Zook rocks your ass into next Tuesday. • College baseball's version of Sofia Coppola (t...
Purple In The Morning, Blue In The Afternoon And Orange In The Evening
Soon, millions of people will see us, and they'll all like us. We'll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight ... to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have...
Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...
Record For Stuffing Face With Pig Ass In Jeopardy
You're probably going to make fun of us here, but we consider competitive eating a sport. We do. We never had until we worked with writer Larry Getlen on his story "The Champions Of Consumption" for The Black Table, our old stomping grounds. The two-part series looked at the history of competitive...
Danny Almonte Is Way Too Eager To Be An Adult
Remember Danny Almonte, the dominant Little League World Series star from The Bronx from a few years who turned out to be two years older than the maximum age? Well — at this should make anyone who remembers the Almonte business feel extremely old — he just got married ... and she's 11 years older...
Neil Everett's Death Wish
We're not sure whether or not to think Neil Everett is:...
Hello, Boston!
As that picture brings you back to the immortal "Does "More Than A Feeling" Really Have The Same Guitar Riff As "Smells Like Teen Spirit?" argument, we let you know that we are going back out on the road. (Book promotion never ends.) As soon as we finish up this here site today, we're heading Bost...
Your Chance To Hang With Cow Ripken, Jr. and Whale Gretzky
Coming to a minor league ballpark near you are the ZOOperstars! They're a traveling group of... well, I'm not sure how to describe them. They're giant plastic representations of popular athletes, if those athletes were animals. For example, Cow Ripken Jr. and Whale Gretzky. And, of course, Tiger W...
Onterrio, Canada
Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed....
Week In Deadspin: "George Clooney! You Been Readin' About All That?"
• Rick Sutcliffe makes Harry Caray proud. • First we brought you Chris Berman poetry, and then we introduced you to the T-shirt that will change your life. • Rasslin' for Jesus. • The view from the Churchill Downs infield. • Lord, these guys are awesome. • O.J. Simpson is keeping himself busy. • T...
You're With Us, Shameless Consumerism
Someone emailed us today letting us know that, for their birthday, their friend was buying them one of the "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirts. We were touched and honored by this, though, to be fair, it doesn't take much to touch or honor us....
Goodyear? No, The Worst
Well, sorry, but when we see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, we shoot the bastards. That's our policy....
We're Hitting The Road
One of the best parts of this job is that we can do it from anywhere. We don't have an office, and even though we spend most of the time on our couch, that's more out of choice than of necessity. We could be in Boise, Boston or Bangkok doing this site, and no one would know, and it would not matter....