ew Page 2944 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great. MORE New York Teams In The Postseason
Congratulations to the New York Mets, who shook off the vexing enigma that is the Pittsburgh Pirates and beat the Florida Marlins 4-0 tonight to clinch the National League East title. They're the first team to punch the proverbial ticket to the playoffs, and now we can all breathe a sigh of relief t...
That's Never Been MY Experience
Do me a favor. Click this link, check out the headline, then come back. I'll wait....
Week In Deadspin: Clap Your Hands Say "Cough"
• If you can't punch a bouncer for yelling at you for bringing underage girls into a bar, jeez, what's the point of playing quarterback? • Everybody get fired up about your prostate! • It's not barking anymore: Now Browns fans steal your wheels. And then they poop on towels! • "Hey, Rob!" • You know...
This Baby Is Not A Public Relations Stooge
Continuing in the grand tradition of cute tiny babies being terrified by professional athletes photos — a genre that hit its pinnacle with this legendary shot — we present this photo of Stephon Marbury, about to be backhanded by a child who doesn't want those cheap-ass ugly shoes....
GW Hoops Coach Just Can't Wait To Turn Head And Cough (Or Whatever It Is They Do These Days)
Thanks to the increasingly indispensible DC Sports Bog, we have the rare opportunity to see the head coach of a major college basketball franchise pretty damned excited to get himself a prostate exam....
Off With Their Heads!
We mean not to sound overly sensitive, but we'll admit to being somewhat uncomfortable with the new ad campaign for New York's SportsNet NY, the station owned and operated by the Mets....
The Dance, She Is Over
Something seems amiss today. We can't quite put our finger on it ... a great disturbance in The Force, like a million baseball fans crying out at once. So we did what we always do when world events confuse us; we headed over to Wikipedia. And sure enough:...
How To Get Fake Lost At Yankee Stadium
Of all the amusements at a baseball game, few things tickle our proverbial fancy more than The Guy Who Can't Find His Seat. He's always carrying a hot dog, or more beverages than he can handle, and he's got that clueless look of the guy who has never been to a game and is just waiting for someone to...
Failure To Launch
In these troubled times in which we live, we believe that it's good to feed the soul occasionally with some inspiring words from a true American. Such a man is Texas Longhorns fan and sometimes actor Matthew McConaughey. Let us never forget his fiery speech from last week, leading up to the Texas-Oh...
Now That's A Serious Looking Contract
We don't mean to imply that there's a possibly new New York Islanders general manager Garth Snow — shown here on a "scouting trip" — might not necessarily be ready for life in a board room, considering just last year he was the team's backup goalie....
NFL Roundup: Mangini's Workout Regimen
Muses and ruminations after Week 1 of the NFL ......
Week In Deadspin: Bronzed Leather
• Presenting the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame. • You know, Dave Thomas used to do this all the time. • Bert Blyleven is f—-ing up that f—-ing thing. • Who will Bill Simmons put on notice? • Goodbye, croc hunter man. • Heath Shuler could actually be a winner. • This is how you comme...
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
NFL Season Preview: Dallas Cowboys
We are officially at the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their faces for thei...
NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....
NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....
NFL Season Preview: Baltimore Ravens
We are officially at the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their faces for their ...
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
A Little Fired Up Down In The Red Zone
Forget the exploits of Peyton Manning and Ben Rothelisberger. Years from now, when you're balancing your great grandchildren on your knee, you can tell them that you were there on the day that Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving in the nude. "But was he totally nude, gr...
NFL Pants Party: AFC West
This is the AFC West. This is not like the AFC North. You might have noticed this earlier. This is where they play in different time zones than the one in which we live. Whew. All irrefutable facts....