ew Page 2944 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno
You can see how this might happen, given everything. Robert Griffin III was on The Tonight Show late last night, and he beatboxed for Jay Leno, because there's nothing RGIII can't do, you see. Washington D.C.'s all-news station had the footage, and they wanted to post it on their website this mornin...
Women's Professional Soccer Is Officially Dead
The WPS announced today that the league has officially folded, and there will be no effort to rebuild after an already-cancelled 2012 season. I can give you two reasons for this rough news, and one is Dan Borislow, possibly the worst man in sports....
Better Know An Umpire: Gary Darling
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...
Laz Diaz Blows An Obvious Call, Ejects Bob Melvin In More Time Than It Would Have Taken To Look At A Replay
Laz Diaz has one of the largest strike zones in baseball. So presumably A's starter Brandon McCarthy thought he was getting a pitcher's umpire. That kinda didn't work out on Elvis Andrus's bunt in the sixth inning, a rare true suicide squeeze....
Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony
What's the saying? If you'll keg stand for something, you'll fall for anything? Promoters of the Preakness Stakes must believe it. Turns out that Kegasus, spokesbeast for the Preakness and the best mascot in all of sports, is a sham....
Geddy Lee Checked Out A Blue Jays Game From The Limelight Of Seats Behind Home Plate
Canadian rocker Geddy Lee sat in some primo seats for a recent Blue Jays game, and the living testament to the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame's illegitimacy appeared to enjoy himself—if spending a bit too much of the game checking out his text messages....
Here's Every Single Pitch Of Jose Canseco's Worcester Tornadoes Debut (Spoiler: It Didn't Go Well)
Intrepid tipster Kevin M. dutifully recorded every single pitch of Jose Canseco's long-awaited, much-anticipated, expectations-shattering debut tonight with the independent Worcester Tornadoes, who traveled south to face the Newark Bears. Alas, America's favorite semi-retired, ball-playing hug mac...
Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."
It's local news sweeps time again, which means reporters are on the prowl with their I-Teams to trump up whatever tired outrage hasn't been covered recently. Fecal matter in iced tea? Eyewitness News is on your side! Cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the job? The I-Team is there!...
Here's Another "Call Me Maybe" Parody, But This One's About Tom Brady
It would appear the "Call Me Maybe" parody video phenomenon has finally run its course. Thank you, Zack Murray. You've done your nation a great service. (Frankly, we're surprised those Harvard guys didn't think of this first.)...
Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Can't Pay Employees, Bounced A Check To The State
We've been following the sad saga of 38 Studios, Curt Schilling's video company that moved to Rhode Island after receiving a whopping loan from the state. Well, things haven't gone well. They haven't employed the number of people they promised. Their big game isn't close to being on schedule. The st...
Bobcats Facebook Poll Goes Poorly
Charlotte's official Facebook page put up a poll, which could have been fun. It was an inane question, sure—"what pick will the Bobcats get in the lottery"—but it could have been a window into the fanbase's level of pessimism. The Cats have the best odds, so anyone picking anything but "No. 1 overal...
Deconstructing Jimmy Johnson's Commercial For Medically Ineffective Penis Pills
It's one thing to sling Viagra, like Rafael Palmeiro and Mark Martin used to do. It's quite another to hawk Extenze, the "natural male enhancement pill" that has no evident medical benefits. But that doesn't stop the shameless Jimmy Johnson. These commercials have aired since 2010, but no one had ...
Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....
Here You Go, PR Guy For Some Player NFL Teams No Longer Want
This email popped into our tips inbox just a little while ago:...
![Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17mxy031xa9hdjpg.jpg)
Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]
A swarm of bees delayed today's Arizona-Colorado game in Denver for several minutes during the top of the fifth inning, as the mass of winged insects invaded the first base line and Rockies' dugout before eventually gathering near a photographers' well on the the right field line....
Why Can't Michael Bay Make Stoopid Movies Like This? <i>Battleship</i>, Reviewed.
One of the knocks on Battleship is that it plays like a ripoff of a Michael Bay movie, but frankly, I wish any of Bay's recent films had been a fun as this very silly let's-kill-the-aliens action flick is. Directed by actor-turned-director Peter Berg (Hancock, the Friday Night Lights film), Battlesh...
Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."
So this is one of those Twitter things, without much backstory. (We saw it here first.) But the team in question is the Rayne (Louisiana) High Lady Wolves, the coach is Deserea Dunn, and the paper is, we think, the Rayne Independent. The Lady Wolves crashed out of the district playoffs last month, s...
The Spunky Genius Of Twitter's @LAKings, The Second-Biggest Surprise Of The Playoffs
The Los Angeles Kings are 7-1 since we asked if anyone could stop them. They're steamrolling the Coyotes like they steamrolled the Blues and Canucks, and they're a good bet to steamroll whichever team wins the Port Authority Bus Terminal Series. They have unquestionably been the best thing about the...
What Kind Of Politics Writer Can't Even Use A Sports Metaphor Properly? Most Of Them, Actually.
Republished from The Classical....