ew Page 2945 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carlton Banks Makes Appearance At Iowa Minor League Park, Reads "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" From His Phone
Poor Carlton Banks. He went to Princeton, backed by a large family fortune, but that wasn't enough for him. Somewhere along the line he fell on hard times—2008 felled so many titans—and had to resort to doing personal appearances at single-A baseball games in Iowa....

Here's Rex Ryan Wearing An "I'd Hit That" Shirt
We've long known way more about Rex Ryan's dietary exploits—and his sex life—than we ever wanted to. We recently learned that he had lost over 100 pounds, which evidently means he can flaunt his frame in T-shirts with naughty puns on them. Congratulations?...

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Modern Pentathlon
Here's a great way to make some extra cash:...

Sure It Looks Bad If You Draw A Swastika On It: Foreign Olympics News NBC Couldn't Justify With A Gallup Poll
Deadspin and Gelf Magazine bring you the best (or at least the most interesting) foreign-produced journalism about the London Olympics. ...

The <i>New York Times</i> Tries Its Hand At Animated Gifs. It Does Not Go Well.
If Buzzfeed and the Times made a baby, and it had epilepsy, it would look like this: "10 Animated GIFs From London 2012." These gifs are different—they're constructed from rapid fire shots taken by the Times's photographers, rather than from actual moving pictures. It sort of defeats the entire purp...

Look At This Fucking Heapster
Reader Landon sends this in from a free Grimes concert in New York City last night. Look at this fucking Heapster, indeed....

LSU Kicks Heisman Finalist Tyrann Mathieu Off Team For Violating School Rules
LSU defensive back and return man Tyrann Mathieu will not return to the Tigers this year, as announced by head coach Les Miles at a press conference in Baton Rouge today. The Honey Badger, who finished fifth in last year's Heisman voting and became a favorite of Brent Musburger, was the subject of ...

The PGA Tour Reminds Us Yet Again That South Carolina Is A Deathswamp
This video, of a big-ass alligator eating a big-ass snake, comes from yesterday's round one action in the PGA Championship, at Kiawah Island. NBD. Happens all the time. Back in April at the Heritage Classic in Hilton Head, the gators were actually threatening the caddies. Gator Golf is not nearly ...

The Red Sox Are Losing Because John Lackey Likes To Double-Fist Beers, Writes Moron
The Red Sox lost a baseball game last night, dropping their record to three games below .500, and you know what that means, don't you? It's time for some dumb columnist to turn into Carrie Nation and throw some shit at the wall. CSN New England's Joe Haggerty did just that when he published this ar...

USA Basketball: America Plays The Olympics In God Mode
There is something almost inherently unlikable about Team USA basketball. Our basketball heroes stand at the heart of the American attitude toward international competition—a belief system with a one-line catechism, "Are we winning?" and for which the Olympics is the most ecstatic of holy festivals....

Photos Of Usain Bolt Looking Bored As He Blows Past The Best Runners In The World
His dominance is frustrating, maddening. Not because he wins all the time, or because it's never even close. But because Usain Bolt, the fastest sprinter ever to run the earth, doesn't even need to try....

How Bad Were Replacement Refs Last Night? Let's Examine The Video Evidence.
After the preseason teaser that is the Hall Of Fame Game, we got our first glimpse of the NFL's replacement referees during last night's slate of pro football action. The verdict? Just ask Bill Belichick, who despite an NFL ban on teams commenting on officiating suggested we seek the opinion of Mik...

Grand Quarterback Pronouncements Based On A Few Preseason Drives
There were six less-than-meaningless games across the NFL last night, twelve chances for fans and media to judge and project their quarterbacks over an entire season based solely on a quarter of half-speed action. That's the entire point of preseason football—unrealistic expectations take wing....

Miguel Cabrera Can Jump
We told you back in January about the, um, heavy record he's devouring pursuing, but Miguel Cabrera reportedly lost anywhere from 20 to 50 pounds before the season began. And it shows! Just look at him sky for that ball that caroms off the backstop! Chris Stewart never had a chance....

Cubs Trainer Mark O'Neal Suffers Mid-Game Middle Finger Sprain
The Cubs ended an eight-game losing streak last night by dispatching the Reds, but it seems not everybody in the organization was happy. Here's trainer Mark O'Neal telling slugger Alfonso Soriano exactly what he thinks about Soriano's fouling a pitch off right in O'Neal's direction. (Soriano later ...

A Blockbuster Dwight Howard Trade Is About To Happen, And Chris Broussard Is AWOL (Update: He's Back!)
The Olympics are still continuing in their tape-delayed glory and the NFL preseason has now begun in earnest, but everyone is abuzz with talk that a blockbuster, four-team deal that would send Magic center Dwight Howard to the Lakers is imminent. Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski first reported early this ...

Usain Bolt Has A History Of Stealing This Swedish Photographer's Camera
After Usain Bolt became the first person to ever win back-to-back Olympic gold medals in both the 100 and 200 meters, grabbed the camera of a nearby photographer and started taking his own pictures of the scene. What you might not be aware of is that Bolt and the photographer, a Swede named Jimmy Wi...

Falcons-Ravens Replacement Ref (Who May Be Lingerie League Castoff) Keeps Insisting He's In Arizona
It's been quite a week for replacement referee Craig Ochoa. First, he headed up a crew that opened the NFL preseason at the Hall of Fame game, then dealt with a report that he was hired by the NFL after being fired by the Lingerie Football League....

Michael Vick Just Did The One Thing You Never, Ever Want To Do In A Preseason Game (UPDATE)
Don't get injured. For any NFL player reasonably assured of a starting job, the last thing anyone ever wants to do in the preseason is get injured. That's why Eagles fans, in lieu of any more reliable information at the moment, are collectively holding their breaths after seeing Michael Vick slam ...

"I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever
Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; but as she was alternately rejected and ignored, she lowered her sights. This past March, she applied for a minimum-wage job selling tic...