f Page 3580 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
I don't know if this qualifies for today's Hugh, but during last night's Nevada-Hawaii game, I couldn't control my laughter everytime the color guy said "WAC Offensive Player of the Week." -efelde84 (screen grab via FanIQ)...

You Can Make Antoine Walker an All Star Again!
Some enterprising internetters over on the RealGM message boards have hatched a plan to corner the NBA All Star voting market involving cookies (not the kind you throw or use to torture). I'm a moron so I don't really understand all of their Internet Explorer speak but I have deduced that they are q...

Television! Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover
• 12:00 — La Liga: Real Madrid vs. Mallorca [Gol TV] • 12:00 — CFB: Ohio State at Michigan [ABC] • 12:00 — CFB: Northwestern at Illinois [ESPN] • 12:45 — Movie: Election [Showtime] • 1:00 — Euro 2008 Qualifying: Israel vs. Russia [FCS] • 2:30 — "CFB": Duke at Notre Dame [NBC] • 3:00 — Classic Boxing...

Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....

Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....

The Last Chapter Of The Aubrey Huff Saga
Just to wrap up this whole Aubrey Huff and naked people business (NSFW), here's one last shot, of everybody's favorite porny Oriole, with the charming Melissa Midwest (also NSFW). Godspeed, Mr. Huff: We bet now, even you can find some place to party in Baltimore after 9 p.m....

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

This Is Pretty Much Why God Invented Sports Bars, We Reckon
We don't know what hell like, or who exactly is there (aside from all the sports agents). But here's a pretty good guess: There's nonstop karaoke, the only beverage is Tabasco sauce and at the top of the hour everyone gets hit in the face with a custard pie. That sounds about right. But at a sports ...

Not A Good Night To Be A Duck
With everything else going on and dominating those sports pages of ours, it almost passed notice that the BCS race imploded again last night with Oregon's loss to Arizona. It also obliterated Dennis Dixon's Heisman chances; he's not likely to play the rest of the season. All told, a rather eventful ...

Bonds Blogdome
What they're saying about Barry Bonds' federal indictment on perjury charges ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...

Jamboroo, Week 11: A Quick Tribute To The Strongest Motherf—ker In The NFL
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

SHOTY First Round: Brady Quinn Vs. Alex Rodriguez
The first matchup, on Tuesday, was a blowout. We suspect this one will be a little closer....

MNF Used To Keep Prisoners In Line. Really.
When "Monday Night Football" made its move from ABC to ESPN two years ago, we argued that it wasn't really a big deal at all; the notion of cable as "pay TV," something that few can watch, seemed archaic. Jeez, who doesn't have cable anymore? Well, here's something we hadn't considered: Prisons....

The Fish That Could Be An Offensive Lineman
We consider fishing a sport, though we're not sure why; we're generally pleased to classify pretty much anything a sport, because everything's better when it's competitive. So, therefore, a terrifyingly huge freaking fish....

About Last Night
What you missed while cooking up a batch of delicious Jesuscakes ... • NBA: Dwyane Wade is back ... just in time to watch Miami lose to Seattle at home. Sonics 104, Heat 95. • College basketball: This would have been a great upset. Oh well. North Carolina 72, Davidson 68. • NHL: No 500th win for you...

Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...