f Page 3585 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Two Undefeated Teams Demoted To Sorta-Defeated
• Oregon 35, Arizona State 23 — ASU decided to go with the "dig selves a 21-3 hole, and see if we can get out of it" defense, but it backfired against them. Oregon will probably move from their previous ranking of 5th up to third because... • Florida State 27, Boston College 17 — ...a football tea...
Why, I'll Show You Rumormongering, Mr. Reporter Man
In the column inches of metro daily paper on a peaceful Saturday morning, somewhere between the high school box scores and soft news on retired athletes, you wouldn't expect to find a rant about blogs....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while setting your clocks ahead one hour, then realizing you're doing it wrong... • 6:40 p.m. — NCAA Football: Arizona State at Oregon. [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Florida State at Boston College, Texas A&M at Oklahoma, Oregon State at USC. The regional coverage map reminds me I n...
While at a Denver-area restaurant, John Elway was cut off from alcohol after the restaurant manager claimed he tried to order his eighth glass of wine. Even if he had seven glasses, he still would have been able to legally drive at least 98 yards on streets in the Cleveland area. [Rocky Mountain New...
Let's Get This Sparty Started
Michigan State's fervor in this game against Michigan seemed to have died last night in that basketball loss to Grand Valley State. The Wolverines are up early in this one 14-3. It's as if something John L. Smith said last year finally sank in with the MSU players this afternoon....
Brett Favre Embodies The Tecmo Bowl Pass Play
I'd assume that a Tecmo Bowl Byron Leftwich would keep cycling through his receivers with the B button until someone sacks him....
Kansas Builds A Rather Portly Lead
It seems like the majority of the readers — at least those with Instant Message accounts — are taking notice of Kansas ripping through Nebraska 48-24 at halftime. Virginia and Wake Forest are also trying to make the game interesting, but failing, as the WF Deacons lead 16-10....
Welcome To The Fukudome
As the baseball offseason enters its sixth day, it's already time to begin looking at our latest Japanese imports. In this case, it's another Hideki Matsui-type player, Kosuke Fukudome. Pronunciation could get a little dangerous. It's either co-SOO-kay FOO-coo-DOUGH-may or kuh-SUCK-ee FUCK-a-DOME....
Ducks Commence Tailgate Over 12 Hours Before Gametime
Not everyone can watch the Ohio State-Wisconsin game, so it pains me to tell you all that it's actually quite a good game. Wisconsin had an amazing fake punt, where No. 94 threw to No. 97, quite possibly the longest offensive play in Wisconsin history where two players with 90-something jerseys touc...
Yes, That's Right, It's An NHL Closer
• Caliendo Can't Impersonate Him. Learn well, kids. When you have a choice between shooting at the goal and not shooting at the goal ... shoot at the goal. This was where I failed miserably in youth sports. But John Madden knew better, and decided against clearing the puck on a power play. His lack-...
Week in Review: Eff This Cursed Machine
⁊ Jon Kitna enjoys Halloween, then apologizes for it...
What Will Happen at the Next Pants Party?
Aileen Gallagher is filling in as the Cultural Oddsmaker this week. Email her to let her know what you think....
If The Pumpkin's Rockin', Don't Bother Knockin'
When Kige Ramsey first began doing his commentaries for "YouTube Sports," I never guessed that he would ultimately meet his end due to auto-erotic asphyxiation. This is absolutely the worst snuff film ever made....
Andy Reid's Son's a Determined, Resourceful Junkie
Yesterday, in a small Montgomery County courtroom in a sleepy little ghetto-posing-as-the-suburbs called Norristown, Garrett Reid, 24-year-old son of Eagles' coach Andy Reid was sentenced to up to 23 months in jail stemming from his heroin-dazed car accident last January. In a revelatory moment, unf...
Barry Bonds Just Won't Leave Us Alone
The Barry Bonds Big-Top Denial Circus made another stop on Thursday; and let me just say at the outset, that's entertainment. In case you heard it on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann yesterday and are confused, let me translate: Barry says he never took steroids, and if the Hall of Fame accept...
Joe Torre: Not Likely To Overdose At The Viper Room, But Will Be Near It
As expected, the Los Angeles Dodgers not of Anaheim will officially introduce Joe Torre as their new manager during a Monday morning press conference. The storied organization rids itself of the managerial albatross that was Grady Little, and lands a future Hall of Fame manager with four World Serie...
More People Angry About ESPNU
For fans of college football and college basketball, there's not much more depressing than learning one of your team's games is on ESPN-U. We repeat, and repeat, and repeat: Not allowing customers to pay for your product — when they are begging to pay for your product — is never, ever a smart busine...
Please Come Grace The Dolphins With Your Star Wattage
This story is from last week, but we somehow missed it, probably because we were so distracted by the Jason Taylor Robot that's intent on enslaving all our women. Turns out, the Dolphins, who are off to somewhat of a slow start, are paying celebrities to come to their games. Well, they're trying to....
Probably The Only Place Left For A-Rod
As we look over Alex Rodriguez's possible free agent destinations, frankly, only one place makes sense: The Toledo Mud Hens. And they're making their push....