f Page 3622 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Have Barry Bonds' Arms Really Not Grown?
Yesterday, Editor & Publisher, of all places, ran a column saying Barry Bonds' elbow brace gives him an unfair advantage. Over at Baseball Prospectus, Will Carroll follows up and stumbles onto a scoop of his own....
Yao Ming's Fantasy Wedding
Rockets center Yao Ming got himself hitched yesterday — or today, or whatever the hell the time change makes the actual date — in front of 70 onlookers and about 100 media people hanging out in the lobby waiting for interviews. It must be so odd to have people wanting to interview you after your wed...
Our One Moment Of Grace, Coming From A Guy Who Pees On Teammates
As Barry Bonds goes to finally break the record this weekend, we hark back to the only real revelatory moment of this "chase:" Greg Maddux's performance against Bonds on Friday night....
I-G-G-L-E-S Fans Are Scary And Awesome
Say what you will about Philadelphia sports fans — they hate everything involved with any of their hometown teams, including themselves, and would have absolutely no idea how to handle sustained, championship-level success ... you know, stuff like that — but you cannot say they don't care....
Lil Romeo, Undersized, Shoot-First Point Guard
We've already shared with you our joy that Michael Jordan's son is going to be playing for our Illini this season. He's not all that good, but he's not costing a scholarship, and it'll make sure his dad impregnates a few co-eds. It'll be fun....
NFL Season Preview: Buffalo Bills
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Hey Kids! Jay Mohr Is Back!
Unsilent mentioned this briefly over the weekend, but in case you missed it; Jay Mohr is back with his weekly column, and just in time for football season! You may remember Mohr from his cable series with ESPN (canceled) and column with SI.com (dropped), and for such films as Community Service. Well...
Solicit Like A Champion
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of t...
Careful What You're Eating In Anaheim
When you think of rat-infested hellholes, usually you're veering more toward Detroit, or The Bronx, or even downtown St. Louis. You're not necessarily thinking of Anaheim. But boy howdy, they sure are having some rat problems in the land of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim....
Glavine Gets His Zack Snyder On
We congratulate Tom Glavine on earning his 300th win last night. We also appreciate that he didn't drag it out too long; unlike some people, he hasn't taken so long that we find ourselves rooting for him to break a record we don't actually want him a break, just so everyone will be quiet....
Vazquez Punishes Marquez While Diaz Retires Morales
Nobody thought that Israel Vazquez could be ready for his rematch against Rafael Marquez just five months after he took that battering. Freddie Roach, Vazquez's highly regarded trainer in that fight, declined to train him for the rematch if he was going to fight just four months after major surgery...
Bonds Makes Everyone Smile
Forgive us for butting in on the weekend, but Barry Bonds just homered to tie Hank Aaron. So: Isn't that great? What a moment to bond us all. Update: You can see the video over at Awful Announcing....
I Like My Rich Garces With a Sprinkling of Powdered Sugar
Rich "El Gordo Guapo" Garces has been busying himself with minor league ball in Nashua (not Nassau) and now he's setting his sights on the majors. The relief pitcher of indeterminable weight will always be fondly remembered as a hero to all the fat guys in Boston, but could he actually return? Desp...
• As usual the Wizznutzz have spent the bulk of the summer in the Mothering Hut and their output has been truly inspired. It's the kind of inspiration you can only get from eating week-old Sabrett's hot dogs with Chico DeBarge and Rod Strickland's pet lemur. Plus the lemur bit Jaarko (who responded ...
The Announcer Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
via Awful Announcing...