f Page 3751 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Introducing Darren Prince
This man you see here is not Hugo Weaving from The Matrix; he is, in fact, Darren Prince, agent for Dennis Rodman, whose book signing we popped by — and lamented — yesterday....

You Can't Trust Cheerleaders. You CAN'T.
Proving once again that she has no idea how you succeed in this world, Panthers cheerleader Angela Keathley, the black-haired member of the duo, has released a statement to deny there was any sex at all. Despite statements from those who were waiting in line for them — and statements from everyone...

Orioles Clubhouse Apparently Like Caligula
The Baltimore Sun has gotten a hold of the 40-page Congressional report on Rafael Palmeiro, and it's full of all kinds of goodness....

Jim Edmonds, Gold LOVER
We've been so caught up with lesbian cheerleaders and fake press conferences — both of which, just to wrap all this up, we'll be checking back with later today — that we forgot to check in with the great On The DL girls this week. We're sorry, ladies! We still have nothing but love....

Welcome Back To L.A.
Uh, if you're a Vikings, Chargers or Saints fan today, we'd suggest not getting too attached to your team. Yesterday, NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue announced that the league and the city of Los Angeles had reached an agreement to bring a team back to So-Cal. The Coliseum will be the host for thi...

Deadspin Field Trip: Rodman's Book Signing
A media friend of ours emailed us yesterday and said, "Dennis Rodman's publicist just called me and promised he's going to pull a 'major' stunt at his book signing tomorrow." We couldn't imagine what Rodman could possibly do that could be classified as "major," save for, you know, sitting down and...

We Apologize In Advance ... But MORE CHEERLEADERS!
We know we implied yesterday that we were just about done with this whole Carolina cheerleader thing, but, you see, we just ... can't ... tear ourselves ... away. We suspect you understand....

Leftovers: Continuing T.O. Coverage
• McNabb: "We have to move on." Us: "No, let's linger on this a bit." [Philly.com] • Chris Carpenter wins Cy Young Award, becoming the first Cardinal to win it since Bob Gibson. Wee! [Viva El Birdos] • The Carolina cheerleader incident wasn't the only great thing to happen in a bathroom. [The Black ...

Vote T.O.!
The pictured advertisement is what's currently front and center on TerrellOwens.com, the official Web site of everybody's favorite apologizer....

Your Token "Sweep The Leg, Johnny" Reference
One of our favorite Doug Flutie stories was when then-Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson, trying to motivate his team for an upcoming game against the Bills, destroyed a box of Flutie Flakes in front of his team. When Flutie heard about the incident, his face fell. "That cereal is to benefit autism rese...

"They Just Need To Give 'Em All BATS!"
We found this photo of "The Sopranos"' Vito Spatafore and video game shill Lawrence Taylor, and even though it has nothing to do with the rest of this post, it made us laugh, particularly considering Vito's quiet preferences on the show....

Palmeiro Pretends To Come Clean
For anybody who missed it yesterday, Orioles designated hitter Rafael Palmeiro finally made a public statement about steroids yesterday, and, as you'd certainly expect, it was unsatisifying. Basically, Palmeiro said he never intentionally took steroids but that he might have accidentally got some ...

Leftovers: No Mas
• Injury forces WBC champ Klitschko to retire, HBO to air 4 extra hours of "Six Feet Under." [Flying Ass Monkey] Bill Simmons profiled in the Baltimore Sun. Good: All kinds of hints that he'll leave ESPN someday. Bad: The author keeps calling him a "blogger." Ugly: Compared to both Hunter S. Thompso...

Wrapping Up The Lesbian Cheerleaders Story
We've reached the saturation point, we think, on the Carolina Panthers cheerleader story, but, frankly, we don't care, and we suspect you don't either. Here's an update on what we've all got, to close this out. Smile wide:...

Happy Trails, Holmes
In very sad news, Kansas City Chiefs running back Priest Holmes is out for the season and, according to several sources, could end up retiring. (A Chiefs spokesperson denies the retirement rumors.)...

Rosenhaus Sets T.O.'s Career Ablaze
One pretty amazing press conference involving Terrell Owens this afternoon. Owens came out and made a seemingly sincere statement, apologizing to his fans, the Eagles, Andy Reid, Donovan McNabb, the owners, pretty much everybody but Jeff Garcia. We were watching it thinking, "Man, he actually see...

Manning's Cute Little Cheerleader Problem
As you might have noticed, sometimes we like to make fun of Peyton Manning's (heavily) rumored sexual orientation from time to time. But our degenerate gambler brother at Oddjack has a strange little scoop that implies Peyton likes to hang out with cheerleaders of his own. From former Indianapolis...

Leftovers: You're My Angel, You're My Everything
• Meanwhile, in non-machete attack news, Angels' Colon wins A.L. Cy Young Award. [6-4-2] • Chuck Klosterman now writing for Page 2. Wonder whose idea that was. [ESPN Page 2] • Root for the Boot: Piazza may play for Italy in World Games. [Baseball Musings] • Bang the oil drum slowly: Rudd to retire f...

Don't Forget About The Sex Cruise!
While the rest of us sully our filthy little minds with stories of lesbian cheerleaders, The Mighty MJD is keeping his eyes on the prize of the whole Vikings sex boat story. (How quickly we forget ...)...

Panthers Cheerleader Story Remains Hot Hot
Well, we're on day two of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders story, and, frankly, we're not seeing much letup in the demand for more news news news! And we're with you. Today's big scoop (and big "ups," as the kids say) goes to the fine lads at YAYSports! who have brand-new EXCLUSIVE! photos culle...