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This Is The Bloodied Marine That LSU's Jordan Jefferson Allegedly Kicked In The Face
We were sent this image purporting to be of the good samaritan, returning from Marine Corps training, who rushed to break up a Baton Rouge bar fight and ended up getting pummeled by at least four LSU players. We've been unable to confirm—the cops have instituted a media blackout, to the extent that ...
Spanish Soccer Club Goes The Sperm-Bank Porn Route To Sell Season Tickets (NSFW)
It's probably difficult to cultivate much of a season-ticket fan base when you're a soccer team in the Madrid suburbs. This is Getafe FC's burden. This is Getafe FC's blessing....
This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Food and space. Weather, nature and corporate logos. The dong submissions came from a variety of genres again the week. This includes what tipster Adam A. called the "Birthday Cake Dong" which doesn't really include a birthday cake....
In Retrospect, It's More Of A Shock That Tom Brady Wasn't An Uggs Spokesmodel Sooner
The Names Blog, brought to you by the Boston Globe, presents this image under the headline, "Brady looks rather manly in his new Ugg boots." Doesn't he though? ...
Cockblocked At Catholic School!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...
Listen To A Lady In A White Bikini Describe How She Handled A 56-Incher
Meet Brenna Burley of Grand Rapids, Minn. She was a virginal sturgeon fisherwoman when she went out, pole in hand, with her boyfriend. He got a bite, but told Ms. Burley she could reel this one in. A 10-minute fight ensued....
<em>GQ</em>'s Michael Vick Story Will Just Make White People Angry Again
This one, penned by Yahoo! movie blogger Will Leitch, drops tomorrow at 7 a.m. so the mag has started to send out embargoed teases to other media outlets to get the buzziest buzz going on this thing but, shit, why wait 12 hours for the good stuff? You'll read it all tomorrow on GQ's website, right? ...
Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....
The "Big" Penis Of Tom Brady's Toddler Son Prompted State Police To Visit Barstool Sports Editor's Home (UPDATE)
Late last week, Barstool Sports used the headline "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" above a paparazzi photo of a naked Benjamin Brady, age one and a half, frolicking on the beach:...
Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...
Once-Comatose Former Swimsuit Model Becomes First Woman To Ever Enter Australian Rodeo Event
Tammara Wrenn became the first female to ever enter "the southern hemisphere's biggest rodeo, at Mt Isa in Queensland" this weekend. This is noteworthy for two reasons....
Cockblocked By Your Own Underwear!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Dodgers Spokesman: Our Usher Was Only Kidding When He Swiped A Foul Ball From A Kid
Remember last night's video of a Dodger Stadium usher swiping a foul ball from a giddy kid at a Dodgers/Phillies game? Yeah, the Dodgers said the usher only swiped a foul ball from a giddy kid temporarily. He was funning with him, you see. The official statement:...
Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Baby
It's that time of year again, when dads somehow simultaneously shirk and embrace parental responsibility by catching foul balls with babes in arms. Last night in Chicago, a Cubs fan managed to juggle his infant to his left arm and grab a foul ball with his right....
Why Did A Dodgers Employee Make A Happy Kid Hand Over A Foul Ball Today? (UPDATED)
We all know times are tight for the Dodgers franchise. But there's only one person who knows why a kid who retrieved a foul ball during the sixth inning of today's game against the Phillies was forced to part with a lifelong souvenir. The world demands answers, mean Dodgers employee who probably h...
Slow And Spectacular, Supertanker Plows Through Yacht
At this week's Red Bull Extreme Sailing Series off the English coast, a Norweigan oil tanker came up the Solent. One yacht barely got out of the way in time, it's sail getting caught on the anchor....
What The Hell? Soccer Club Sacrifies Actual Lamb On The Pitch Before Match (SFW)
This is Turkish side Sivasspor posing with a restrained lamb before their friendly with FK Rad Belgrade. The camera cuts away, something happens, and the Sivasspor players are covering themselves with fresh lamb's blood for luck. It worked. The Serbs were scared shitless, and the Turks won 4-1. I'...
I Never Want To Work On A Goddamn TV Show Again: A Week In LA With Norm Macdonald
Last November, Drew Magary and I traveled to Los Angeles to spend a week working on the pilot for what would become the now-canceled Sports Show With Norm Macdonald. You've read his highlights. Now here are mine....
Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...