fb Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Infuriating Consistency Of Dirk Nowitzki's Step-Back Jump Shot
If I were a real Lakers fan, which is a thing I've been told exists somewhere, and I had to watch the Dallas Mavericks handily beat my team at home twice in a week, then I would place an inordinate amount of rage in watching Dirk Nowitzki make shots like this one....
We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...
Here's Charles Barkley With The Worst Golf Swing Ever
It was Charles's first swing of the day, too. Nice try, Haney....
This Horrific Leg Injury From An Australian Football Game Will Make You Hate Sports Forever
We trust that you know yourself well enough to fairly judge whether or not you want to see this gruesome clip, especially just before lunch. You might want to wait until after you've had your sub. Or maybe you don't want to watch it at all. It's up to you. What you need to decide for yourself is w...
A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...
Philly Gave Jayson Werth A Conflicted Standing Ovation Last Night
Jayson Werth, D.C.-area multi-millionaire, had his first at-bat at Citizens Park since the December 2010 deal last night. He was treated to a standing ovation of sorts, one that was one-part mostly-genuine strained clapping and one-part all-out disgusted booing (which quieted, slightly, when he ti...
Derrick Rose, NBA MVP, Thanks His Mother And Warms Our Frigid Hearts
Chicago's Derrick Rose was named the NBA's 2010-11 Most Valuable Player today. He is the youngest MVP in league history. Rose delivered remarks to members of the Chicago media this afternoon; he sounded perhaps nervous and certainly young, because he is. But he was careful to take the time to than...
Retiring Beer League Softball Commish Would Like To Thank Himself For All His Hard Work And Dedication
Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like t...
Listen To This Cricket Announcer Describe A Ball Heading Directly For His Face
Edward Bevan, cricket announcer for BBC Sport Wales, nearly dodged a ball hit into the announcer's booth by a Somerset player on Monday. More impressively, he narrated its approach: "It's coming up, is it going to hit us?" Bevan manages, and then you hear the kind of glass-smashing sound effect you ...
Your Special Edition Dead Bin Laden Funbag
Before we get to your letters, kudos to TMZ for asking if Obama had victory sex on Sunday Night. Because he totally should have. His seaman should have conducted a forceful raid of his wife's compound to celebrate that news....
The Internet Has Already Killed Osama Bin Laden Getting Killed
It's been, what — 20 hours since President Obama approached the microphone to deliver the news that Osama bin Laden had been captured and killed? But the internet has not rested. The internet has produced its usual batch of meme videos, including keyboard cat, Taiwanese animation, and of course, t...
College Students Celebrate Bin Laden's Death With Patriotic Backflips, Nudity, Beer: A Gallery
In celebration of the fact that Osama bin Laden was announced dead last night, American college students everywhere took it upon themselves to riot in the streets, drunkenly yell their college rally chants on national television, and light couches on fire. Oh, America....
An Essay About Osama Bin Laden's Death, Constructed Entirely Out Of Athletes' Tweets
SOURCES: OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!! WATCHING CNN NOW... THE PRESIDENT TO ADDRESS THE NATION SHORTLY... I got off the plane,went in my hotel rm, turned on TV, saw all those people outside the WH and thought "did the Skins win another SB?" LOL. Osama Bin Laden dead????? Whoa!!!! Osama Bin Laden Dead. ...
And Now A Picture Of The Worst Custom Heat Jersey Ever Made
In honor of the Heat/Celtics series, this guy has made a video of how to wash your car and clean your ceiling fan with a Paul Pierce jersey. And he did it all while wearing this obnoxious custom-made Big Three jersey....
Osama Bin Laden Is Dead, Professional Wrestler Declares In Most American Video Ever
And then John Cena holds up his championship belt, and "The Stars and Stripes Forever" starts playing over the speakers. Everything about this is perfect, right down to the guy shouting, "We won." [via @SherwoodStrauss]...
Josh Smith Responds To "Crazy Bandwagon Columnist" Who Guaranteed Hawks Would Blow Series Lead
Three days ago, when the Atlanta Hawks were leading the Orlando Magic three games to two in their series, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote a column that predicted the Hawks would squander the lead and that included the phrase "Call me a crazy bandwagon columnist." So we'll go ahead and c...
Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...
A Good Old Fashioned Pussyblock!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....