hell Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh My God, Look At This Giant Fucking Alligator
This impossibly large alligator was spotted on a golf course in Florida. I’m just gonna throw this out there, and feel free to disagree, but it is my opinion that this gator is too large. ...

Navigating Your Way Through Bullshit Corporate Lingo
George Orwell made a living off of incredulity. Armed with a healthy distrust of capitalism and intense misgivings about the surveillance state, Orwell’s writings often presaged a bleak outlook for mankind. (His fucking head would explode if he could see what companies—i.e. Google and Facebook—and g...

Miguel Cabrera Was Very Impressed With The Pitch That Struck Him Out
Miguel Cabrera is on quite the run right now, but Jeremy Hellickson got him to take a rip at a strike three that fell harmlessly in the dirt far from Cabrera’s flailing bat. He is a fun dude who knows when to give respect when he gets owned, so he flashed Hellickson a cool thumbs up almost before Ca...

Colin Cowherd's And Jason Whitlock's <i>All Takes Matter </i>Is Going To Be A Goddamn Hour Long
The world is already aware that Colin Cowherd and Jason Whitlock will team up for their new Fox Sports 1 show Speak For Yourself, which should be called (and which we are calling) All Takes Matter, but no one was prepared for it to be a full hour at 6 p.m....

Report: Colin Cowherd And Jason Whitlock To Host <i>All Takes Matter</i> At Fox Sports
Going by the ratings, no one wants to see scuttling opinion-haver Colin Cowherd and motivational speaker Jason Whitlock on their televisions. Despite this, they will be the new hosts of a Fox Sports show tentatively titled Speak For Yourself. (There’s still time for Fox to take up our suggestion to ...

Bundesliga Broadcast Features Someone Bellowing Lionel Richie Song Off-Camera
Today’s Bayern Munich-Borussia Mönchengladbach broadcast on FS2 had a bonus soundtrack: “HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?”...

Are Music Festivals Really All The Same Now?
When Coachella opens its gates at the Empire Polo Club today, it sounds the bugle for Festival Season, now a live-music summer staple from coast to coast. At the time of the first Coachella in 1999, its multi-day, multi-stage format was a novelty to anyone who hadn’t trekked out to a Woodstock anniv...

Pro Cycling's Most Harrowing Race Is A Day In Hell
You can’t drive your car over the cobbled roads of Northern France. They’re jagged anachronisms from a past era of transportation, and the only vehicles that still traverse them are tractors and, one Sunday a year, hundreds of professional cyclists. The 114th running of Paris-Roubaix will take place...

No Losing Team Is As Fun Or As Intriguing As The Timberwolves
It would be an overreaction to last night’s overtime victory over the Warriors to proclaim that it heralds the Timberwolves’ arrival. It was just one game, after all, and the team is still just 26-52, the fifth-worst record in the NBA. It also remains to be seen how they deal with the organizational...

A Brief Guide To The Panama Papers
A big, bold news story, speaking truth to power. You feel compelled to pay attention, but also feel your eyes glazing over trying to process it all. In terms of sheer scale, the Panama Papers leak is a lot to digest, even for professional news digesters. So a summary for the lazy: the politically po...

Baseball Is Back And Thank Fucking God
At last, the death-gods have released their cold, icy grip on the United States; the trees are green, the birds are singing, and our greatest sport has returned. While there’s just too much to keep track of in terms of who’s where and what’s what and who’s going to do what and such—FiveThirtyEight, ...

Point Giannis To Wreck Shit On A Permanent Basis
Good news for all the Giannis Antetokounmpo fans out there, particularly those of us who have enjoyed the results of Jason Kidd’s “Fuck it, let’s put the 6-foot-11 monster at point guard” experiment. According to Kidd, Antetokounmpo will be the team’s starting point guard next season....

Love Is Real: Donald Sterling And His Wife Are Calling Off Their Divorce
In August, lawsuit-loving former Clippers owner Donald Sterling filed for divorce from his wife Shelly, who he called a “pig” during court proceedings when they were fighting over who would retain control of the Clippers (as it turns out, the eventual answer to that one was neither, thank God)....

Here, Watch Steph Curry, Michelle Obama, And Ayesha Curry Do A Dubsmash Rendition Of "Barbara Ann"
When the Warriors went to the White House last week, there were some good Obama burns, a passable Steph Curry impression, and three very famous people covering the most annoying Beach Boys song as a trio of demon chipmunks....

It Looks Like The 49ers Kicked Out The Girl Scouts For A Beyoncé Concert
Earlier this week, the San Francisco 49ers cancelled a planned sleepover at Levi’s Stadium for the top cookie sellers from Girl Scout troops around Northern California. As a reward for selling the most cookies, the scouts were going to spend the night of May 14 eating pizza and watching a movie on t...
![49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gbxjxh88qeuweppwjfvp.jpg)
49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]
The San Francisco 49ers had an agreement with Girl Scout troops around Northern California: The girls who sold the most cookies would get to visit the team’s stadium in May, meet cheerleaders, and enjoy pizza and movies on the field. This week, the team reneged on the deal....

Kobe Bryant Scored 38, Had Some Fun, And Tortured Sam Mitchell One Last Time
Sam Mitchell was the head coach of the Toronto Raptors when Kobe Bryant dropped 81 points on them in 2006, and he has spent the last 10 years being ornery with anyone who asks him about it. Now with the T-Wolves, Mitchell coached against Bryant for the last time ever on Tuesday night, and Bryant of ...

Fox Sports Publishes, Deletes Bad Royals Blog
Today, Fox Sports published an article about how the 2015 Royals are “one of the worst AL teams” to win a World Series since 2000. One could make this oddly specific claim, provided one had stats and evidence to back it up. The article, however, had a list of batting averages. That was it....

Australian Rugby League Star Gets Drunk, Pees On Couch, Pretends To Fuck A Dog
American sports scandals are so boring....

LCD Soundsystem Don't Owe You Anything, Including Silence
You could’ve seen this LCD Soundsystem reunion business coming if you’d looked hard enough—if you’d looked anywhere, in fact, for any length of time and with any degree of hardness. Hell, it was obvious to anyone who watched the full-length feature film devoted to their alleged final show, a Madison...