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The Deadspin Guide To Riding Your Damn Bike<em></em>
Out on the street where you live, it’s finally summer. Maybe this means that the world outside your door is as hot as the surface of the sun or the trees have conspired to drown you in allergens, but regardless, winter has finally gone and died and guess what; it’s time to ride your bicycle....
A Normal Person's Guide To Golf<em></em>
After a decade off, I decided that I needed to start golfing again. My girlfriend thought I was having a midlife crisis....
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Superbowl Start?' Start?
The Super Bowl is allegedly this weekend, and reports indicate that the contest will be played in Houston between the Atlanta Falcons and New England Patriots. ...
Don't Have Opinions About Other People's Underwear
Are your underwear emitting an odor of feces or stale urine or stagnant crotch-and-ass sweat that I can smell from a normal, respectful distance? Are you wearing some form of outer garment between your underwear and the outside world? Are you someone with whose underwear I may interact directly in t...
How To Measure Your Kid's Dick
Don’t. What the fuck is wrong with you?...
You Puny Millennial Weaklings Disgust Me, A Tough, Sinewy Elder
Via the Washington Post, I have learned of a study by the Journal of Hand Therapy showing that millennial men are a bunch of weak, pampered diaper babies with butter-soft hands and that your puny muscles are no match for my hardened, callused Gen-X gripping power. I am paraphrasing, here. The Journa...
How To Get A Piano (Like For Your Spouse, Say)
So you’ve decided to get a piano! For yourself, or for, say, the piano-loving Target worker who gave up her lifelong piano access when she moved to Mississippi to live with you as your wife. I think this is a fine choice! Pianos are lovely. Let’s talk about some good and bad practices for acquiring ...
Play the Game the Right Way
This is a special Jezspin guest post by Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan....
How to Do Everything
Want to learn how to do things? We’re here to help....
Every NYC Romantic Comedy Is Full Of Shit In The Exact Same Way
Our first mistake was going to see this thing when we did. A friend and I stumbled into a showing of How to Be Single after a few glasses of wine a few days after it hit theaters—the same weekend Deadpool opened. Our theater is a small one a few blocks away from my apartment in Williamsburg, Brookly...
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Superbowl Start?' Start?
At some point tomorrow, the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos will play against each other in the Super Bowl. However, a much more widely-contested game, between, oh, every publication, has already started. ...
Here's What To Do When You Barf In The Car
My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Freddy Hernandez, a/k/a Tavarish, of Jalopnik fame, who joined me in the studio to lend his expertise to more of the messes you all are making of your cars. And boy, are you ever making some messes!...
How To Clean A Roach-Infested Coffee Maker
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
How To Clean A Mattress, And Why
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Don't Mess Up Your Anniversary
The tough thing about writing a definitive guide to anniversaries is that every couple should, quite rightly, handle them differently....
How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...
How To Write A Note For Any Occasion
Writing a thank you note or trying to find the right words to let a friend who just lost his mom know you’re thinking of him is no one’s idea of a good time. But from time to time, most modern men will find themselves in a situation that calls for a handwritten note. ...
How To Have An Actual Conversation With A Woman
I know the headline may have ruffled your peacock feathers, but please, hear me out. Many men do not know how to have a conversation, and it would behoove our communities, our country, and dare I say the entire human race if this disconnect could be bridged. I’m not referring to suaveness in the pic...
How To Make Perlo, The Deep South's Best Take On Chicken And Rice
Here’s the thing about South Carolina: if you drive far enough inland from the ocean, you will run out of fingers on which to count highway billboards threatening you with ultimatums like “Accept Jesus Or Burn In Hell.” Not a whole lot to recommend the place once you get out of earshot of the surf....
How To Get A Cheap Motorcycle And Not Crash It
The problem is, most things are Good in inverse proportion to the degree to which they’re Fun. Broccoli is Good; Bacon is Fun. Taxes are Good; Casinos are Fun. Gyms are Good; Bars are Fun. You get the picture. But assuming, as I do, that all of us must live at least a little, few things are less Goo...