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Mariners Manager Says Sabermetrics Made Dustin Ackley Suck
The Seattle Mariners optioned once-promising second baseman Dustin Ackley to Triple A yesterday because Ackley has been having a miserable season at the plate. But what's to blame for Ackley's .205 average and .266 on-base percentage? Mariners coach Eric Wedge has a theory, and it has to do with all...

Nike Cuts Ties With Livestrong
The plucky wristband-manufacturer (and cancer-awareness-raiser), has lost its second benefactor in less than a year: with Lance Armstrong already out of the picture, Nike has decided to end its nine-year partnership with Livestrong....
![Maurice Jones-Drew Allegedly Punched Out A Bar Staffer [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18p380y635gw8jpg.jpg)
Maurice Jones-Drew Allegedly Punched Out A Bar Staffer [UPDATED]
Jacksonville Jaguars running back and back-to-UCLA student Maurice Jones-Drew has been charged with battery after he allegedly punched and knocked out a bar staffer over the weekend at a beach bar in St. Augustine, Fla., according to police....

What If The President Were A Cokehead?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering big dicks, broken jaws, uneaten cupcakes, and more. Image by Jim Cooke....



Rob Ford Got A Football-Themed Cake For His Birthday
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who has smoked crack cocaine, is celebrating his 44th birthday today. His staff brought him the lovely cake you see above, because crack-smoking Rob Ford still celebrates his birthday like a nine-year-old boy. Maybe he'll get to eat that cake in his race car bed tonight....

On Facebook, Rays Prospect Brags About Throwing Change At A Stripper
If you were to imagine the quintessential asshole baseball player, you'd probably end up with someone who looks a lot like Joshua Sale. Since getting drafted No. 17 overall by the Rays in 2010, Sale hasn't done much aside from earning a 50-game suspension after testing positive for amphetamines. Mor...

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TMZ: Keyshawn Johnson Chased Down Justin Bieber For Driving Too Fast
Where even to begin with this one? "BIEBER VS. KEYSHAWN: INTENSE SHOWDOWN At Singer's Mansion." Bieber. Versus. Keyshawn. Intense showdown. It's tabloid Christmas, thanks to TMZ. And it gets even better....

Brittney Griner Throws Down Two Dunks In Her WNBA Debut
Former Baylor superstar and all-around badass Brittney Griner made her WNBA debut for the Phoenix Mercury last night, and she made quite the impression. Griner, who became known for her ability to dunk while at Baylor, threw down two dunks in her first game as a pro and became the first WNBA player...

ESPN President's Memo: Support The Troops; Also, We're Firing People
Below is a memo from ESPN president John Skipper, sent companywide just before the Memorial Day weekend and forwarded to us by a Bristol tipster. "This is the only communication we've received from upper management this week that mentions the layoffs," our tipster writes. Happy Memorial Day!...

Down on the Corner, Out in the Street
From the SI Vault, check out Gil Rogin's 1964 story, "Confessions of a Stoop Ball Champion":...

The Ugly American
Here's a good sports-related scene from The French Connection II. ...

Scary Video From Under The Snapped Camera Cable At The Coca-Cola 600
On lap 121 of Sunday's Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte, a cable supporting an overhead camera snapped and fell across the track. Ten fans were injured, three hospitalized, and the race was red-flagged for nearly a half-hour after several cars were damaged. It could have been much worse, and the eyewitnes...

Indy 500 Winner Tony Kanaan To Reporter: "I'm Gonna Get Hammered"
If race car drivers are good for one thing, it's giving memorable post-race interviews. This one, from Indy 500 winner Tony Kanaan, doesn't share the meandering goofiness of Brad Keselowksi's half-drunk dissertation on believing in oneself, but the two are united in spirit. The spirit of getting ha...

Indy 500 Fans Passed Out, Puking In The Back Of A Moving Truck
The Indianapolis 500 isn't just about the racing; it's also about drinking toxic levels of alcohol, and getting thrown in the back of a pickup truck like so much drunk lumber....

Same Faces, Same Result: The Spurs Are Back In The Finals
The Spurs get the "boring" label because basketball is supposed to be hard. As San Antonio heads to its fifth finals since 1999, its fourth with its multinational power trio intact, you wonder if they've made some cosmic bargain, or discovered a real-life cheat code, because the alternative—that the...

Nobody's Interested In Watching John Cena Wrestle Anymore
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