i Page 8382 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gilbert Arenas Wants You To Buy Our Book
Yes, yes, we know: We've hawked the book a bit around here, but we took a day off from it yesterday. (If just because we were in a plane for seven hours.) But don't worry, folks: Gilbert Arenas has our back....

Both Teams' Fans Already Assuming Victory
We have arrived in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, and it's still raining. What the heck is going on? We thought this was Arizona? Anyway, while looking at this poster online — and we are trying to imagine the sort of fragile, sensitive boy that might put this on their wall — we got to thinking about th...

Commit To the Indian, Bitches!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

We Crown Thee King Of The Suttons!
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Chris Paul Creates New And Better Realities, And Improves Conditions
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not screaming in soulless rage at the merciless Pagan gods, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while deciding for whom to vote ... • NBA: Utah 97, San Antonio 91. Mitt Romney declares victory. Rudy Giuliani decides to skip the game. John McCain says that both teams should work together to end their differences. Fred Thompson dozes peacefully. • College basketball: UConn beats ...

And Off To Glendale We Go!
As you read this, we will be on a plane to beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. It has been freezing in New York City, and fortunately, we can have the sweet release of gorgeous desert weather ... wait ... is that rain?...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after deciding to skip Alien Vs. Rain Man ... • College basketball: Louisville at Connecticut (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma State at Oklahoma (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Cal Poly at Pacific (11 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. ESPN in Stockton, CA. A first? • College basketball: College of Charleston Cougars at W...

You Have Many Opportunities For Senseless Super Bowl Bets
One of the quiet pleasures of Super Bowl Week is the wide variety of betting opportunities this game provides. Most of them are simple guesswork, but hey, isn't that what gambling is anyway?...

Who Will Be This Year's Eugene Robinson?
So this is the kind of Super Bowl XLII analysis we can get behind: FanIQ asks which team is more likely to have a Eugene Robinson moment? It is the Super Bowl, and this is a legitimate question....

Deep Into The Belly Of The AAFL Draft Beast
In all the hubbub about the NHL All-Star Game this weekend — careful: The Hubbub is contagious! — you might have missed the All-American Football League draft. It was as thrilling as you would expect....

Well, They Were Out Of Snausages
The suspect: Buddy, the black labrador. Crime: Chewing Super Bowl tickets. Last seen: Licking own privates. Other possible suspects: Rabid squirrel ... parakeet ... Roomba. Trial date: pending....

Just In Time For The Super Bowl: Strawberry Flavored Cheetos
Straight from the Will Leitch test kitchen Japan, get your mouth ready for the taste bud pants party that is Strawberry Flavored Cheetos! (Gagging sound). Poor Japan. Sure they kill whales, but do they deserve this kind of grief? They next thing you know we'll be stocking their shelves with Honey Bu...

Why Take A Home Game Away From The Saints?
The NFL announced yesterday that next year's Wembley Stadium in London game will be between the New Orleans Saints and the San Diego Chargers. This makes sense — perhaps we'll get a Reggie Bush giant robot — but we don't quite understand: Why are the Saints the home team?...

Return Of The Campo
• Dave Campo is returning to the Cowboys? Really? [Uwe Blog Sports] • It's a good thing Tiger won; otherwise, we wouldn't have known golf had started. [Dogs That Chase Cars] • NHL stars are stealing moves from Mighty Duck movies. [The Play In CA] • Texas A&M, stealin' stuff. [Deuce Of Davenport] • H...

Fun With Stephen A. Smith Blog Comments
Our story so far: Stephen A. Smith started a blog, and then things got out of hand in the comments. So he heightened security; now requiring registration before one can comment. And that's a good thing, because now that all the jerks and racists are gone, all that remains is comedy gold....

Birdman Ready To Fly Again, This Time With Fewer Stimulants
It has only been two years, but still, a lot of people don't remember the maestro that was former Nugget and Hornet Chris Anderson. He's perhaps most famous for his performance in the slam dunk contest — Bill Simmons wrote, "Looking back, I think the best part was that he started off the contest by ...

Super Bowl Week Is Finally Here
So, friends, it begins. After the endless, man, are they having ANY sports this week? of the past seven days, it's time for Super Bowl XLII exhaustion. You can't say that ESPN doesn't have you covered. Heavens....