in Page 4090 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's Your Gay ESPN Sportscaster?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to tell him what you think....

This Is It, Joel: It's Going To Be Gone Soon
Technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss....

Emmitt Smith To Get Unexpected Competition On 'Dancing With The Stars'
Those suffering from persistent night terrors — frightening disorders of the sleep from the darkest corners of the psyche — should not watch the above video. We were deeply disturbed by it, and are now unable to eat, or dress ourselves to go out. We blame The Realests, which today links to an AOL Mi...

No Pedro In October? That Just Seems Wrong
As we deal with our own baseball-related panic — which we'll obviously be getting into later — we turn to Queens, where Mets fans, enjoying their best season in nearly 20 years, have lost their ace for the entire playoffs. Whether Pedro Martinez comes up with a tiny former Brando co-star or not, w...

The Closer: You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow....

Oh, No, Mike Tyson's Back! What Ever Will We Do!
You know, now that Mike Tyson has announced that he's going to be doing a travelling roadshow of "fights," we know that we're supposed to get all huffy about it, say things like "When's this guy gonna learn?" and "What has happened to boxing?" or even the old standby "Why doesn't he move on with h...

It Don't Mean A Thing If It Don't Have That Ring
Ever wonder why Sheryl Swoopes was a successful athlete but, say, Kordell Stewart was not? According to a study by King's College London — whatever that is — it's because women with long fingers make better athletes than women with shorter fingers....

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
We mentioned this briefly the other day, but we figure it probably deserves its own post....

Hunter Smith Is No Insult Comic
If you want your T.O. live press conference updates — and boy, DON'T YOU — you can find them right here....

"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...

Yep, This Is Actually Happening
If you're looking for the moment when the Cardinals late-season disgorgement transformed from a local sense of nervousness to a national jeez-that-car-is-about-to-crash fascination, it was last night. The Cardinals lost again, the Astros and Reds both won, the wild-card number is at five for the six...

As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...

This Is Probably Why The Food Network Is Always On
The M Zone points out a rather disturbing trend it has noticed with the Michigan cheerleaders: They're all dressed like soccer moms!...

Sir, I Strongly Protest Your Driving Habits
We're sure you've seen this, but we kind of had to bring it up anyway. If you're like us, you can't be pulled away from the television with a herd of wild ponies during an ARCA stock car race.* One reason is that these guys are always grapplin', and they aren't just your everyday tussles like you se...

You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....

Watch, As Odell Thurman's Career Evaporates
In case you haven't quite had your fill of the Odell Thurman EXTREME DUI story, the Cincinnati Enquirer has your back this morning: Exclusive video of Odell's actual arrest....

One Perfect Night In New Orleans. Let's Try To Make Sure There Are More
It's difficult to find much to make fun of from last night in New Orleans, a kinda shocking 23-3 Saints victory over the Falcons, except for maybe this lady's sign, which we've been looking at all morning with little more than the foggiest idea of what she's trying to say. (Yes ... Katrina was jus...