in Page 4092 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

See, We Weren't Making It Up
So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?"...

The Closer: The AL Central, As Written By The Coen Brothers
Notes from a day in baseball:...

More People Sprinting Out Of The GAB In Fright
Even though the Reds have had more success this year than most might have anticipated, they haven't felt a major boost at the turnstiles, with attendance up slightly, but not significantly, over last year. So they've come up with a new idea for bringing fans to the ball park: Make them feel like the...

No Better Reason To Get In A Bar Fight Than This One
This pasty fellow, described by Every Day Should Be Saturday as "so aggressively white that bleach is afraid of him," is South Carolina quarterback Blake Mitchell, who was arrested after a bar fight early Wednesday morning....

What, All Flights To Utah Were Booked?
Whenever we blow $600,000 on blackjack and loose women, we know that it's time for another trip to Cuba. Olympic officials in Thailand recently had that same thought, as they packed off Olympic boxing champion Manus Boonjumnong to the balmy shores of North America's favorite island, with the notion ...

Fast Times In The AL Central
We can't imagine what it must be like to be a fan of an American League Central team right now. (Unless of course you're an Indians or Royals fan, in which case you've certainly moved on to the unparalleled bundles of joy that are the Browns and Chiefs.)...

GW Hoops Coach Just Can't Wait To Turn Head And Cough (Or Whatever It Is They Do These Days)
Thanks to the increasingly indispensible DC Sports Bog, we have the rare opportunity to see the head coach of a major college basketball franchise pretty damned excited to get himself a prostate exam....

By This Rationale, Most Of You Are "Hazed" Every Weekend
OK, what does this picture say to you, other than "They should really think about having those big whiteheads removed, or popped, or something?" Does this look like some debacherous, out-of-control, dangerous exercise? A way to maliciously prey on unsuspecting freshmen who don't understand the horro...

Smiles, Everyone! Smiles!
As we mentioned Tuesday, FIFA president Sepp Bladder wants to get Marco Materazzi and Zinedine Zidane together on an island for a final reconcilliation concerning the infamous World Cup head-butting incident. But after a full 24 hours of being mocked by the British tabloids, this crackpot scheme may...

Being Brad Lidge
We are accustomed, in sports, to one moment changing everything; it's probably the main reason we watch. But it's forever fascinating to see how one moment can affect a human being, morphing them from a dominant force of nature to a scared boy in big pants, alone out there. These moments can't make ...

Chad Johnson Is A Chicken Dance Maestro
As many have pointed out before, the vast majority of hardcore NFL fans have never attended an actual game in person. Factors include the rarity of games, the high ticket expense and the fear that someone in a dog mask will steal your wheelchair....

Dr. Z Hangs Out With Swimsuit Models
We know, we know: The unconditional love for SI scribe Rick Reilly's "Riffs Of Reilly" segment — sample comedic genius moment: "USC's quarterback is John David Booty and Texas' is Colt McCoy. Hey, weren't both those guys on 'Gunsmoke?'" Oh, Rick, you slay us! — makes you think that SI.com must be so...

And Somewhere, Fred Smoot Sheds A Tear
The country is England, the sport is "Conger Cuddling," and the athlete pictured here is pointing his ... wait a minute ... no! His eel! He's preparing to toss an eel! You people are disgusting sometimes....

Now, Now, We're Sure Irvin Has Close To The Right Number Of Chromosomes
So that whole Tom Jackson calling Michael Irvin a "retard" thing from yesterday? Absolutely true, absolutely happened, and here's video, via Dejuiced....

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....

Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....

Eventually, It Will Just Be A Graphic Below Irvin's Name
So we haven't actually seen this, so we need someone to confirm it for us, preferably with video. Let that be our disclaimer prologue....

A Slight Change In The Commenting Rules (Don't Worry, It'll Be Fine)
As anyone who has ever spent longer than five minutes around these parts knows, we have the best commenters on the planet. We have yet to make a joke that's funnier than about 10-15 comments that show up in the first five minutes after making a post. We've made our peace with this; we never thought ...

The Fast And The Furryous
If you sat through more than one college football game on Saturday, then obviously you forgot that this past weekend was also the opening of hamster ball racing season. PETCO sponsored races at nearly all of its 800 stores in the U.S. on Saturday, which they called the Hamster Ball Derby. Accordin...