ja Page 390 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lamar Jackson Remains Ridiculous
That Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson is having an unreal season was already apparent—13 touchdowns and 1,015 total yards of offense in your first two games will make that clear, even if said games aren’t against particularly tough competition. That Lamar Jackson is potentially a demigod of some...
What The Heck Is Going On With Chris Ivory?
Jaguars running back Chris Ivory missed last week’s game against the Packers after being hospitalized early Sunday morning with what the team described as a “general medical issue.” Ivory was released from the hospital on Tuesday, and he will now miss this weekend’s game against the Chargers due to ...
USC Linebacker Charged With Rape, Forcible Sodomy
USC linebacker Osa Masina has been charged with two counts of forcible sodomy and one count of rape following an investigation by the Cottonwood Heights Police Department. Sgt. Dan Bartlett, who headed the investigation for the department, confirmed the news Thursday. Masina’s bail for the Utah case...
The Chokingest Team In Modern NFL History<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
After The NFL Comes Weed, Hollywood, And Fantasy Football
Against the Colts Peyton Manning ended up three yards short of Brett Favre’s record. They had the champagne ready. The cannons loaded. The midgets were hiding in the cakes. The hookers were naked in the limos. Everything was ready. All we need is a few more numbers! C’mon, Peyton! Keep coming! Certa...
The Most Interesting And Dominant Baseball Player In The World Plays In Japan
There is a 22-year-old professional baseball player who owns the following 2016 stats: 123 innings pitched, 2.12 ERA, 151 strikeouts. He has also put up these stats this season: 288 at-bats, .326/.425/.611, 22 home runs....
Ben Cherington Is Back In Baseball As Not-A-GM For The Blue Jays
When Ben Cherington was effectively forced out from the Red Sox organization last August, the team was on its way to a second-straight last place finish in the AL East—and just two years removed from a World Series win. ...
The Rams Might Be In A New City, But They Still Suck
The Los Angeles Rams started their season off with a robust fart noise Monday night, as the rebuilding San Francisco 49ers shut them out in Santa Clara, 28-0....
Aaron Rodgers Gives Everyone Yet Another Play To Gush About
Aaron Rodgers is aggravating if he’s whooping your team, but for everyone else, he’s one of the best parts of the NFL. The Packers quarterback creates highlights within highlights, and today against the Jaguars, he did it again....
Jack Del Rio Gets Ballsy, Goes For Two, Gets Win
With less than a minute to play, the Oakland Raiders looked ready to tie the game after a Seth Roberts touchdown from Derek Carr cut their deficit to one point against the New Orleans Saints. But then head coach Jack Del Rio got bold. ...
Allen Robinson Is A Magician
The Jags lost, but it wasn’t for lack of effort. Allen Robinson took a ball-separating hit from Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, but made a clean recovery....
South Dakota State Tight End Makes A Gorgeous One-Handed Touchdown Catch
The fade route, in theory, should exploit the height mismatch between the receiver and defender, but it usually results in an aggravating incompletion. In Saturday’s game against Drake, South Dakota State tight end Dallas Goedert made it work....
USC Lineman Ejected After Fighting With Official
USC left tackle Chuma Edoga was ejected just a minute into the Trojans’ game against Utah State after his dispute with an official got physical....
Lamar Jackson Is Unreal
After accounting for eight touchdowns in the first half against Charlotte last weekend, Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson picked up the pace this week against Syracuse and scored three touchdowns within the first five minutes of the game. He added another one later in the first quarter. ...
The Best Jaguars Fan Has Been Found
A few months ago, Jacksonville news station WJXT roamed the streets in search of civilian takes on the Jaguars’ draft picks. Reporter Scott Johnson found a woman who was quite confident in her analysis of the team. On Thursday, she made her return to television....
Broncos Fullback Scores 28-Yard Touchdown On First Career Carry
A few plays after setting a key block to spring C.J. Anderson for a long run, Broncos rookie Andy Janovich took the very first carry of his career 28 yards into the end zone. Bene Benwikere clearly was not expecting Janovich to get the ball, as he ran in too quickly. Panthers safety Scott Simonson c...
They Shouldn’t Play The National Anthem Before Sporting Events
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Jason Pierre-Paul Is Suing ESPN Because Its Reporting Was Too Accurate<em></em>
New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul is scheduled to face off against ESPN and reporter Adam Schefter in a Florida federal court next August. At issue is a tweet Schefter posted in 2015 containing two photos of Pierre-Paul’s medical records....
Steve Jobs Loved The Headphone Jack
At approximately 1:00 p.m. today, in the year of our Lord 2016, Tim Cook defiled the memory of the late Steven “Steve” Paul Jobs with an abomination built of space-gray hubris. Today, Tim Cook discarded the iPhone headphone jack. And with that headphone jack, the soul of its creator went, too. ...