joe Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The MNF Crew, Sadly, Is Getting Worse
The Big Lead says this morning what we've all kind of been thinking: It's probably time to write off the "Monday Night Football" broadcast crew a disaster....

Steinbrenner's Agonizing "Decision"
We have trouble with the concept of "soul-searching" when it comes to George Steinbrenner — he seems to have a key ingredient missing — but evidently the Yankee owner did some heavy thinking over the past two days. According to the New York Post, Steinbrenner has apparently decided not to fire ma...

Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings
As The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"...

Obviously, Joe Torre Was The Problem All Along
And so there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Yankee Land, as you probably expected. Word on the street is that manager Joe Torre is as good as out, and that Lou Piniella — yow — is in. Seems rather rash to us, but what do we know? Only what we read in the papers ... and in various Yankees...

Do Not Disrespect Joey Porter's Dogs
Some difficulty for Pittsburgh Steelers unhinged linebacker Joey Porter this morning; apparently two of his dogs — a pit bull and a mastiff — escaped from Porter's residence and killed a miniature horse at a nearby farm. The horse, being miniature, was actually smaller than each of the dogs, so that...

The Internet Is Changing All Our Lives, Every Day
The site is JoeBuckHasASkinnyWeiner.com. And, well, it's pretty much what it says. With sound. The information superhighway, man, it's just the double plus bestest....

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....

Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....

Joey Porter's Eye On Romance
The best reason for seemingly archaic magazines like Sports Illustrated to exist is to humanize our athletes, to take them off the stat pages and bring them to life through real, vivid prose. (That, these days, runs about 1,100 words.) We can think of no other example than this week's profile of Ste...

Fox NFL Sunday Now Featuring Only Jimmy Johnson's Breasts
Lost in all the hullabaloo yesterday about Joe Buck taking over as studio host for Fox NFL Sunday was this little nugget of info: "Wacky" female presence Jillian Barberie is leaving the show with little fanfare. And by "little fanfare," we mean it: She's not even mentioned in the press release that ...

(Almost) Everybody Loves Kornheiser
Well, the early reviews on Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" are in ... and they're almost universally positive. Here's a sampling:...

Kornheiser's Big Debut On MNF; Hey, Watch Those Hands, Tirico
This tastefully choreographed publicity shot of what can probably best be described as "Mike Tirico Microphone Bukkake" signifies one thing: The new ESPN "Monday Night Football" crew is indeed kicking off tonight. Ignoring the wisdom of CBS banning sideline reporters entirely, the crew consists of...

It's 40 Percent More Joe Buck, Every Sunday
Joe Buck haters, it is a dark day for you. Remember how much difficulty you had withstanding Joe for three hours a Sunday during the NFL season? Well, that's about to be increased by two hours. Every Sunday....

Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who Will Be The Next Broadcaster Hit With Sexual Harassment?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think of him....

The Closer: It's A Joe, Out Of Control
Notes from a day in baseball ......

TBS Knows Baseball, ESPN Hopes Not To Forget
So we're a day late on this, but we wanted to make sure we had all the details correct. As menacingly pointed out during the All-Star Game, FOX has re-upped for the rights to the World Series, Saturday games and one LCS for the next seven years. For Joe Buck and Tim McCarver haters, this is bad ne...

Go Crazy, Folks
The reverberations from minor league manager Joe Mikulik's impassioned freak out last month are still being felt — and will continue to be until the beginning of September. The crafty promotions team of the Augusta (Ga.)Green Jackets is preparing for when Mikulik's Asheville (N.C.) Tourists come t...

Joe Mauer: Man Muscles, And Stylish Classics, For Every Moment
We'll admit it; we love Bat-girl. She would be our one and only Internet squeeze, if it wasn't for our desperate, wholly inappropriate cyber crush on Ashley Harkleroad. One reason that Bat-girl is the best: She recently gave us this, the Joe Mauer Fashion Spread from Travel and Leisure Magazine. Y...

Ricky's Canadian Debut
Ricky Williams made his Canadian Football League debut last night in a pre-season exhibition game for the Toronto Argonauts. It looks like Ricky's domination of the Canadian game is not a given. He had seven yards on four carries. And I think his numbers get even worse when you consider the exchan...