joe Page 160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

(Almost) Everybody Loves Kornheiser
Well, the early reviews on Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" are in ... and they're almost universally positive. Here's a sampling:...

Kornheiser's Big Debut On MNF; Hey, Watch Those Hands, Tirico
This tastefully choreographed publicity shot of what can probably best be described as "Mike Tirico Microphone Bukkake" signifies one thing: The new ESPN "Monday Night Football" crew is indeed kicking off tonight. Ignoring the wisdom of CBS banning sideline reporters entirely, the crew consists of...

It's 40 Percent More Joe Buck, Every Sunday
Joe Buck haters, it is a dark day for you. Remember how much difficulty you had withstanding Joe for three hours a Sunday during the NFL season? Well, that's about to be increased by two hours. Every Sunday....

Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who Will Be The Next Broadcaster Hit With Sexual Harassment?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think of him....

The Closer: It's A Joe, Out Of Control
Notes from a day in baseball ......

TBS Knows Baseball, ESPN Hopes Not To Forget
So we're a day late on this, but we wanted to make sure we had all the details correct. As menacingly pointed out during the All-Star Game, FOX has re-upped for the rights to the World Series, Saturday games and one LCS for the next seven years. For Joe Buck and Tim McCarver haters, this is bad ne...

Go Crazy, Folks
The reverberations from minor league manager Joe Mikulik's impassioned freak out last month are still being felt — and will continue to be until the beginning of September. The crafty promotions team of the Augusta (Ga.)Green Jackets is preparing for when Mikulik's Asheville (N.C.) Tourists come t...

Joe Mauer: Man Muscles, And Stylish Classics, For Every Moment
We'll admit it; we love Bat-girl. She would be our one and only Internet squeeze, if it wasn't for our desperate, wholly inappropriate cyber crush on Ashley Harkleroad. One reason that Bat-girl is the best: She recently gave us this, the Joe Mauer Fashion Spread from Travel and Leisure Magazine. Y...

Ricky's Canadian Debut
Ricky Williams made his Canadian Football League debut last night in a pre-season exhibition game for the Toronto Argonauts. It looks like Ricky's domination of the Canadian game is not a given. He had seven yards on four carries. And I think his numbers get even worse when you consider the exchan...

Joey Porter Manages Not To Kill And Eat The President
The Steelers finally made their visit to the White House yesterday, with President Bush playing host to the Super Bowl champions. Here are some quotes from his speech:...

We Mean Not To Offend, Joey
Now ... we are going to tread very carefully here ... we don't want any trouble ... we are just reporting facts ......

Joey Porter, Security Risk
As almost everyone surely remembers from last season's Pittsburgh Steelers postseason run, linebacker Joey Porter is insane. Porter's patented crazy land technique is, to make sure he's appropriately pumped up for whatever endeavor he is about to undertake, concoct some insult or slight that his o...

The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...

It's An Honor Just To Be Nominated
So, who remembers the Bill Simmons cartoons? Launched, what, a year ago now, the three one-minute tidbits of the life of The Sports Guy were almost universally derided, first by readers, then, ultimately, by Simmons himself. (He called them "a mistake on a lot of levels.")...

We're Mad, We Tell You ... MAD!
Well, the most exciting graphical representation of a mathematical application has now been unleashed upon us. The NCAA Tournament is finally here. We're going to be looking at different sections of the bracket today, but first we'd like to talk about two people: Billy Packer and Joe Lunardi....

Gammons And Morgan: A Team For The Ages
We're not sure if this will make the folks at Fire Joe Morgan leap in bliss or slip into madness, but it appears everybody's soul-crushing Sunday Night Baseball analyst Joe Morgan is gonna have some company in the booth this year: Peter Gammons....

Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 7-0 Middlesbrough. Holy Lord. 7-0? Did they let Arsenal use their hands? Man, there's real chance that Arsenal outscores the Chicago Bears this weekend. In fact, Thierry Henry might outscore the Bears himself, as he scored three of the seven....

Soccer Players Shouldn't Date Hot Topless Women
Our mystery soccer correspondent files this report of Chelsea soccer star Joe Cole being beaten to a pulp over a Page 3 girl (Link NSFW)....

Joe Paterno's Slip Of Tongue (Ugh)
It's a nice time to know Penn State coach Joe Paterno ... unless you're a woman, says the National Organization of Women. The organization has taken issue with Paterno's comments about Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, who was accused of rape in a Florida hotel room. Here's what JoePa said:...