joe Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NOT What Jesus Had In Mind
When your dad's a former professional hockey goon, your childhood can pretty much be summed up in three words: Fun, fun, fun. Clint Butler was the bantam A team youth hockey coach for a boys 13- and 14-year-old team in Montreal. Let's get right to the action....
Alabama Can Stop Their Search For A New Head Coach
If they don't give up with their Nick Saban flirtation and make interim head coach Joe Kines their permanent head coach, then I'm just going to hate Alabama forever. If Every Day Should Be Saturday isn't posting about this guy every week, then a crime is being perpetrated against humanity....
Doug Johnson Must Be Some Kind Of Douchebag
With a staggering 39% of the vote, Terrell Owens was the "winner" of an SI.com poll among NFL athletes on the subject of the league's most annoying player. Owens was one of only two players to get into a double digit percentage, the other being Joey Porter with a disappointing 10%....
Joel Zumaya Puts His Life In Rock's Hands
Remember in the American League Championship Series, when flamethrowing, red-eyeballed righthander Joel Zumaya was sidelined with a "right wrist and forearm inflammation?" It turned out not to matter, because the Tigers blitzed the A's in four games, but had there been some tighter games late, it co...
Joey Porter Didn't Mean To Offend You; He Just Meant To Offend The Fag
Just because his team has been a disaster this year doesn't mean that Steelers linebacker/insano Joey Porter can't still stir some shit up. Yesterday, Porter apologized for calling Kellen Winslow a "fag."...
The Snow Is Finally Here, And The Playoffs Aren't Far Behind
For all the talk of Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck and a dogged night from Shaun Alexander, the main impression we took from last night's MNF Seahawks' win over the Packers was: SNOW! Screw Thanksgiving: We know the holidays are really upon us when it's snowing real hard and people are falling over...
Joe Namath Regrets Nothing!
So Joe Namath, heretofore known as The Guy Who Tries To Ruin A Perfectly Brilliant Moment With Talk Of Drinking "Problems," is out promoting his new book, "Namath," and during his "60 Minutes" interview this Sunday, he discusses the incident that, if nothing else, launched Kissing Suzy Kolber and ...
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Ben Roethlisberger Vs. Joe Mikulik
All right, after what appears to be an easy victory for Matt Leinart last week, fellow losing-team quarterback Ben Roethlisberger enters the fray this week in the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament. (We're calling it "SHOTY.") He takes on famous freakout minor league manager Joe Mikulik in ...
Not Exactly Thrilling NFL Action
We are always hesitant to grouse and grumble about the low excitement level of a particular NFL game and use it as an opportunity to make some larger statement about the game itself; one of the more random things about sports is that sometimes an individual game will just stink, and it's no reflecti...
Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...
The MNF Crew, Sadly, Is Getting Worse
The Big Lead says this morning what we've all kind of been thinking: It's probably time to write off the "Monday Night Football" broadcast crew a disaster....
Steinbrenner's Agonizing "Decision"
We have trouble with the concept of "soul-searching" when it comes to George Steinbrenner — he seems to have a key ingredient missing — but evidently the Yankee owner did some heavy thinking over the past two days. According to the New York Post, Steinbrenner has apparently decided not to fire ma...
Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings
As The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"...
Obviously, Joe Torre Was The Problem All Along
And so there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Yankee Land, as you probably expected. Word on the street is that manager Joe Torre is as good as out, and that Lou Piniella — yow — is in. Seems rather rash to us, but what do we know? Only what we read in the papers ... and in various Yankees...
Do Not Disrespect Joey Porter's Dogs
Some difficulty for Pittsburgh Steelers unhinged linebacker Joey Porter this morning; apparently two of his dogs — a pit bull and a mastiff — escaped from Porter's residence and killed a miniature horse at a nearby farm. The horse, being miniature, was actually smaller than each of the dogs, so that...
The Internet Is Changing All Our Lives, Every Day
The site is JoeBuckHasASkinnyWeiner.com. And, well, it's pretty much what it says. With sound. The information superhighway, man, it's just the double plus bestest....
Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....
Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....
Joey Porter's Eye On Romance
The best reason for seemingly archaic magazines like Sports Illustrated to exist is to humanize our athletes, to take them off the stat pages and bring them to life through real, vivid prose. (That, these days, runs about 1,100 words.) We can think of no other example than this week's profile of Ste...
Fox NFL Sunday Now Featuring Only Jimmy Johnson's Breasts
Lost in all the hullabaloo yesterday about Joe Buck taking over as studio host for Fox NFL Sunday was this little nugget of info: "Wacky" female presence Jillian Barberie is leaving the show with little fanfare. And by "little fanfare," we mean it: She's not even mentioned in the press release that ...