Steinbrenner's Agonizing "Decision"

We have trouble with the concept of "soul-searching" when it comes to George Steinbrenner — he seems to have a key ingredient missing — but evidently the Yankee owner did some heavy thinking over the past two days. According to the New York Post, Steinbrenner has apparently decided not to fire manager Joe Torre. Is Alex Rodriguez now the chief fall guy? And what of Lou Piniella? We'd actually buy season tickets if both he and Barry Bonds were with the same team next year.

Steinbrenner — believed to have had a meeting with general manager Brian Cashman at his midtown hotel yesterday — decided to keep Torre after two days of canvassing his Inner Circle about the positives and negatives of firing Torre and bringing in Lou Piniella.

Maybe he canvassed, maybe he didn't. We prefer the image we have in our head right now, of Steinbrenner sitting on a park bench, wistfully feeding pigeons, and then suddenly having an epiphany. "Yes ... I guess I really do love him! Damn it, I'm going to propose!"

More likely? Steinbrenner, feeding pigeons in his robe, 3 a.m., as his nurse finally finds him and escorts him back to bed, pausing only to text Cashman from Steinbrenner's phone: "Do what you have to do." And then, aw, Steinbrenner's pooped himself again! He's Joe-ing Nowhere"> [New York Post]