joe Page 160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joey Porter Manages Not To Kill And Eat The President
The Steelers finally made their visit to the White House yesterday, with President Bush playing host to the Super Bowl champions. Here are some quotes from his speech:...
We Mean Not To Offend, Joey
Now ... we are going to tread very carefully here ... we don't want any trouble ... we are just reporting facts ......
Joey Porter, Security Risk
As almost everyone surely remembers from last season's Pittsburgh Steelers postseason run, linebacker Joey Porter is insane. Porter's patented crazy land technique is, to make sure he's appropriately pumped up for whatever endeavor he is about to undertake, concoct some insult or slight that his o...
The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...
It's An Honor Just To Be Nominated
So, who remembers the Bill Simmons cartoons? Launched, what, a year ago now, the three one-minute tidbits of the life of The Sports Guy were almost universally derided, first by readers, then, ultimately, by Simmons himself. (He called them "a mistake on a lot of levels.")...
We're Mad, We Tell You ... MAD!
Well, the most exciting graphical representation of a mathematical application has now been unleashed upon us. The NCAA Tournament is finally here. We're going to be looking at different sections of the bracket today, but first we'd like to talk about two people: Billy Packer and Joe Lunardi....
Gammons And Morgan: A Team For The Ages
We're not sure if this will make the folks at Fire Joe Morgan leap in bliss or slip into madness, but it appears everybody's soul-crushing Sunday Night Baseball analyst Joe Morgan is gonna have some company in the booth this year: Peter Gammons....
Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 7-0 Middlesbrough. Holy Lord. 7-0? Did they let Arsenal use their hands? Man, there's real chance that Arsenal outscores the Chicago Bears this weekend. In fact, Thierry Henry might outscore the Bears himself, as he scored three of the seven....
Soccer Players Shouldn't Date Hot Topless Women
Our mystery soccer correspondent files this report of Chelsea soccer star Joe Cole being beaten to a pulp over a Page 3 girl (Link NSFW)....
Joe Paterno's Slip Of Tongue (Ugh)
It's a nice time to know Penn State coach Joe Paterno ... unless you're a woman, says the National Organization of Women. The organization has taken issue with Paterno's comments about Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, who was accused of rape in a Florida hotel room. Here's what JoePa said:...
Some 1 A.M. Bowl Goodness
We're never reminded more of just how old we're getting than when we watch college freshmen play sports. Penn State kicker Kevin Kelly, we swear, has to be lying on his birth certificate; there's no way he's older than 12. The poor kid finally erased the chances he'd be a Buckner-type goat by fina...
Orange Bowl: A Contrast In Coaches
Everyone's making a huge deal about the coaching legends Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden facing off in the Orange Bowl tonight. They're the two winningest coaches in Division I-A history, and they're both still going strong. It's nice when old people do well....
Athlete Run-Ins: Joe Morgan's Tiny Finger
Today's first athlete run-in story is about everybody's favorite ESPN baseball analyst Joe Morgan. We're as shocked as you to hear he might be a bit of a jerk in public....
Joe Buck, Hilarious Killjoy
If you didn't already suspect this, Fox broadcaster Joe Buck would have the most boring "Cribs" episode ever. In "5 Questions" in today's New York Post, Buck describes his life away from the broadcast booth....
Wait ... It's Mariucci's Fault?
After watching that wretched Lions' loss to the Falcons yesterday — we'll do anything to make the NFL take away the guaranteed Lions homegame on Thanksgiving every year; that game is NEVER competitive — word is starting to rumble: The Lions are considering firing coach Steve Mariucci. This is Mari...
20 Years After Theismann And LT
WSJ's The Daily Fix alerted us to anniversary that, like just about everything does anymore, succeeded in making us feel old: Today is the 20th anniversary of Lawrence Taylor's brutal hit on Joe Theismann, breaking his leg and ending his career. (The Washington Post has a fantastic story about thi...
NFL Roundup: Down Goes Tice!
• What's funnier than Mike Tice being rolled over and knocked down on the sideline? Nothing, that's what. By the way, we find Tice's dopey sideline celebrations undignified, and Tom Coughlin's constant gyrations of fury incredibly amusing. • Samkon Gado, baby, Samkano Gado. Two touchdowns, one gr...
NFL Roundup: Kicking T.O.
• We love pictures like this. Everyone, honestly, should have a kicker of their own to hug and cuddle. • We're not going to get too into this — because, of course, we're going to do our own whole post on the matter later today — but ESPN's coverage of Terrell Owens is bordering on stalking. ESPN's...
Joe Paterno ... Closet Raci — You Know, We Don't Have The Energy Anymore
Another day, another old college football coach being subtly accused of racism. The headline on ESPN.com's home page kind of lets you know how Penn State coach Joe Paterno's comments on black athletes is being spun: "Paterno Links Black Athletes To Increased Scoring."...