k Page 3768 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Germany
The battle for bronze is here. Can Uruguay salvage a modicum of dignity for South America—and alternately taunt Brazil and Argentina—or will Ze Germans prove too, too hot to handle? Stay in the know and comment along....

Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....

Baseball Player Doesn't Apologize For Cursing, Proves Mayans Correct
Father shells out for a pair of $45 front-row pro-baseball tickets thus enabling son to tell friends, "My dad's the greatest in the whole world." Then, fate intervenes. It sends a foul ball into the old man's glove, and an obscenity-fueled line from the hirsute right-fielder's tongue into everybody...

If a Bull Gores Someone in Pamplona When Everybody's Watching Soccer, Does the Wound Bleed?
Not a good weekend for bulls internationally....

What's The Difference Between John Elway And Barbaro?
Let's just get to what you probably want to know about me, Brian Hickey, the new weekend guy: How to throw me down into your basement well with Precious because you get rammy when swaddled in vulnerable soullessness on Saturdays and Sundays....

A LeBron-Jersey-Burning-Video Roundup
Cleveland did not burn itself down last night, but it seems that everyone took to YouTube to document the torching of LeBron jerseys. Here are a few such videos....

Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Final Chapter
The World Cup ends this weekend, so let's take one last look at cultural and historical milestones being rudely — and humorously — interrupted by that most noble of African horns, the vuvuzela....

The Decision: Reconsidered
As you know, last night's LeBronnukah special on ESPN was THE MOST DRAMATIC HOUR IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION. In this video, we crank up the drama to 11. We hope you enjoy....

Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....

Armen Keteyian On A Stool, And Other Strange Scenes From The Greenwich LeBron Stakeout
Our man in Greenwich, Craig Fehrman, describes what it was like to wait for LeBron's Decision under a tree in a tony Connecticut town for hours with hordes of media and curious onlookers....

Here's Something To Ease You Off Your Fear Of Clowns
This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage stepdaughter. Freaky, yes, but not as freaky as the Phil Spector mug shot. [The Smoking Gun]...

Cleveland Paper Calls Out King Without A Ring
The Plain Dealer gets the last word on LeBron's reign in Cleveland. This will come back to haunt them in photoshop form if he wins rings with the Heat. Meanwhile, here's a great roundup of various front pages this morning. [Charles Apple]...

Cockblocked by Barry Zito. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Da' Rick Rogers, Prized Vol Recruit, Lover Of Ladies Who Bite, Arrested For Brawl
Not with this enthusiastic young lass in the photo, though. No, Rogers was arrested last night at a campus bar after a donnybrook broke out. Rogers originally committed to UGA, but defected and signed with rival UT....

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

Potential Vandals Beware: There Are Witnesses
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

LeBron's Departure Helps Tea Party, Political Writers In Desperate Need Of LeBron Angle
It's early, but this story on The Atlantic's web site might just be the most inane, half-assed piece of LeBron punditry you'll read today. Here, I'll summarize: LeBron made Ohio angry. Angry people join the Tea Party. The end....

Cavs Owner Channels Crazy Person: "Some People Think They Should Go To Heaven But NOT Have To Die To Get There"
Owner Dan Gilbert has written an open letter to Cavs fans in the sort of prose you normally find wrapped around a brick. Note the font: The guy makes Comic Sans seem sinister....

Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...

IT'S FUCKING OVER: LEBRON TO HEAT SAYS... LEBRON
LeBron James made a decision. Here's video....