k Page 3792 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lebron Once Gunned Down Five Members Of Congress
Sure, it was a Puerto Rican independence activist named Lolita Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [The Hill]...

Lebron Attends Prom In Duct Tape Tux
Sure, it's an Ohio high schooler named Louie Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Youngstown News]...

Lebron Arrested For Impersonating An Officer
Sure, it's a Chicago man named David Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Sun-Times]...

Lebron Vows To Save New York
Sure, it's a former Albany mayoral candidate-turned-deputy commissioner at the State Liquor Authority named Nathan Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Times Union]...

Washed-Up Coach Reduced To Shamelessly Peddling Crap On Twitter
Judging by his Twitter account, Florida Atlantic's Mike Jarvis is now a celebrity spokesman for something called the EnergyCare Dream Pillow, which apparently worked so well for Jarvis that he slept through an entire basketball season. [@coachmikejarvis]...

Lebron Undergoes Elbow Surgery
Sure, it's an Orioles minor league pitcher named Luis Lebron. But still, could you imagine? (Did you folks forget this little gem?) [Balt Sun]...

Dave Bliss, Terrible Human Being Of Note, Now Shaping The Minds Of Tomorrow
Congratulations to Dave Bliss, the former Baylor coach, who, despite having presided over one of college sports' ugliest episodes, and despite having enlisted his team in an effort to smear a player, Patrick Dennehy, who had just been murdered by a teammate......

Internet Commenters, Ethnographized
New York Magazine's Doree Shafrir delved into the culture of internet commenting, specifically examining several popular websites. Strangely enough, she lumped you all in with the Gawker commenters. Show her how it's done down there in the mire. [NYMag.com]...

Lenny Dykstra Turns To The Last Refuge Of A Scoundrel: Craigslist
For the low low price of $3200 (which isn't nearly low enough), Dykstra will sign some magazine articles for you, put them under glass, and give you a phone call too. Collect, I would assume. [Craigslist]...

Drew Rosenhaus Breaking Flaming Bricks Is A Metaphor For His Negotiating Skills ... Or Something
Turns out Drew Rosenhaus, noted driveway-press-conference hobbyist, also enjoys training in the martial arts when he isn't forcing your favorite team to give an extra year and $3 million dollar roster bonus to Olindo Mare. [Tauntr]...

Secret Of Nats Success? Pretend They're The Rays
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Boston Mayor Needs A Refresher Course On Boston Sports
Confused Mayor Thomas Menino reminiscences about some of Beantown's "ionic" sports moments: "Havlicek stole the ball, Fisk waiving the ball fair, Flutie launching the Hail Mary pass, Varitek splitting the uprights." No mention of Antoine Walker's bloody shoulder pads? [Globe]...

Minor League Hockey Fight Provides Us With A Reason To Watch Minor League Hockey
Last night, during Game 5 of their ECHL playoff series, the Cincinnati Cyclones and Reading Royals engaged in one of the best hockey team fights ever. Enjoy the narration and the sight of grown men being thrown about like rag dolls....

Dallas Braden's Perfecto: A Musical Retrospective
Dallas Braden became the world's most notable mound-owning, finger-mustache-tattoo enthusiast on Sunday when he threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history. To celebrate, here are all 27 outs set to a song Braden undoubtedly likes. [Tune-age via The Misfits]...

Ken Griffey And Keith Hernandez, Together In Mid-Game Slumber
Both the Mariners DH and the Mets announcer (on camera!) took unscheduled naps during recent games. One is going to be out of a job very soon. The other, well, "he's Keith Hernandez."...

Royals Set Dangerous Cash-For-Errors Precedent
Catching a pop-up one-handed, at shoulder level, looks really cool. As long as you make the catch. Yuniesky Betancourt didn't make the catch, and he was fined for it. This is KC's solution, instead of teaching him the right way....

Fake Yo-Yo Trickster Fools Every TV Station Everywhere
A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air....

Chat With Will Leitch Until He Drops (UPDATE: He's Dropped)
Will's in the comments, and he will remain there until you're through with him. Remember to read his book, Are We Winning Ben Stein's Money? And read this, too, while you're at it. UPDATE: He's done, just shy of the three-hour mark....

Cavs' Offer To LeBron Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cleveland's chances at keeping LeBron, which, thanks to three blowout conference semifinals, are looking slightly brighter this morning....

Steve Nash Beamed Into Conference Finals
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....