k Page 3798 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Well, This Guy Is Happy For His Friend
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Angels Closer Brian Fuentes, Living The Dream
From CBS Sports' Fantasy News site. Thanks to the number of you who sent this in....

Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Recall Much From His Draft Day
Which he blames on the 41 beers he says he drank (in fairness, they were Coors Lights). I wonder what he's drunk on in this video?:...

Old People: Still Not Listenin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Mike Keenan Thinks You're Number One: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

And "Comedy Week" Comes To A Close With An Angry Email From Sarah Silverman
Predictably, my littler temper tantrum about the Sarah Silverman chat did not escape her notice. She justifiably tore me a new asshole for my comments. Let's excerpt a portion of her email....

"The Homo Quota"—Inside The World Of Gay Softball
Earlier we wrote about three bisexual men suing the Gay World Series for excluding them because they "weren't gay enough." Let's examine the lengths organizers will go to to keep the sport gay, and how teams get around the rules....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Yokozuna
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Yokozuna, who died of a heart attack in 2000....

Ovechkin Gives Child A Snow Shower
Ovie stops short, spraying the Canadiens tyke. Probably all in good fun (and part over Ovechkin's pregame routine), but still: wouldn't it have been great if the kid had dropped the gloves?...

Frenchmen Don’t Want You To Get Laid. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

LaShawn Merritt Was Trying To Get Bigger, In One Of Two Ways
The Olympic gold medalist failed a doping test, because, he says, he took a "male enhancement" product. We don't really believe that, as a giant cock would wreck a runner's wind resistance, and make a mess of the baton handoff....

Orel Hershiser Goes To Coachella: The Lost Tweets
You may not be aware of this, but late-'80s Los Angeles Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser has been missing for almost a week now. He was last heard from on Friday, April 17th, somewhere inside the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California....

Footage Of Maryland Student's Beating Goes Missing, Re-Appears Minus Some "Editing"
A disc of security camera video that might show police officers assaulting a Maryland student during the post-Duke game bliss mysteriously went missing, then re-appeared hours later....with a two-minute gap in the footage. Wait! That's not the shadiest part, yet!...

Lesbian Grim Reaper Also Impressed By Kevin Durant's Performance
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Update: ABC Lawyers Are Freaking Out Because <em>Lost</em> Call Sheet Has "Elements Of Truth"
Well that's unfortunate. I guess this call sheet a reader sent us actually contains spoilers or something. [Gawker]...

Here's The Yankees' Triple Play You'll Be Seeing Over And Over Tonight
Sometimes in baseball, as in life, events conspire to create a single, perfect result: a perfect game. However, a triple play is pretty great too, even one turned by the Yankees. [Video via MLB.com]...

Bayern Win, But Things Get Even Worse For Ribery
Ribery had an absolute shocker, whilst Robben further proved that even if you look more like a telesales adviser than a footballer, sometimes it just doesn't matter....

Old Spice Pec Man Punches Out Nerdlinger
In a dingy locker room while wildly manipulating his pectorals. Soak your brain in the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER that is this Tim & Eric-directed Old Spice spot. Isn't Comedy Week a reach-around punch in the face?...

Fat, Sweaty, Drunk Man Teaches You How NOT To Perform Standup
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why....

Last Night's Winner: The Almighty Dollar
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Daniel Goldstein, the last man standing between the Nets and their shiny Brooklyn arena, who just got $3 million to sit down. That stinks....