k Page 3800 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mind-Altering Old Spice Clip Features Spastic Pecs Aplenty
It's Comedy Week on Deadspin, so Old Spice wants to contribute. Behold the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER in this Tim & Eric-directed spot. There's so much BLOCKING POWER that your eyes will cry tears of titanium alloy. Need we say more?...

Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....

It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Just In Time For The World Cup, French Star Visits An Underage Prostitute
In libertine France, it takes a lot to spark a sex scandal. Think an underage call girl will turn do the trick? Franck Ribery could face charges after seeing the girl, though he says he didn't know her age. [AFP]...

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

Color Me Fucking Shocked: Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow
You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft....

And Here's A Guy Getting A Handy At A Hockey Game
Not sure who deserves more props - the BU hockey fan receiving some surreptitious manual love, or the private dick who decided to record it. We'll be handing out bonus points for identifying the parties involved....

Anyone Want A Photo Of David Aardsma's Penis?
The Mariners closer has allegedly taken a nude photo of himself and sent it to someone via cell phone, and now one enterprising individual wants to find it a suitable home....

An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....

CRACK BABY VS. AIDS BABY? An Audio Funbag With Adam Carolla
Worlds are colliding, folks. Number one podcaster in the universe Adam Carolla was nice enough to record an audio funbag with us, in which he answers some of your most probing questions....

Welcome To Deadspin's "Comedy Week"
This week, Deadspin will celebrate the release of Sarah Silverman's book, "The Bedwetter," with an excerpt and a friendly chat with you weirdos. To commemorate this fine event, we've also brought in more funny people....

A New Big Ben Exposure Story: “He Had A Gray Penis"
Plenty of ladies these days have a story about unwanted exposure to Ben Roethlisberger's penis. Here's an account we received from reader Running Man Territory Dan. It's unverified and possibly totally fabricated. Still, A GRAY PENIS?!...

Roger Goodell Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL's Judge Dredd, who can finally claim victory in his war to take back the NFL from scum and villainy (a.k.a. Ben Roethlisberger's wang.)...

It's Domestic Violence Night At Nationals Park
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogs to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Boston Fan Finally Picks A Winner
After a sweep three straight losses at the hands of Tampa Bay, the Red Sox fall into fourth in the AL East. The Boston media may be panicking, but at least one fan appears to have struck gold....

BYU's Top Rusher Withdraws, Possibly Due To Premarital Sex With Girlfriend
Harvey Unga, BYU's leading rusher, is withdrawing from school. So is his girlfriend, basketball player Keilani Moeaki. They're leaving because of a violation of BYU's notoriously strict honor code. Let's speculate!...

Mistaken Bomb Threat Aimed At Yankee Fans
Metro-North Railroad meant to play a recording notifying passengers of train service to Yankee Stadium. They instead played a warning of a bomb threat. Hey, whatever helps explain those empty seats behind home plate. [StationStops via Couchwarmers]...

Ndamukong Suh Is A Pretty Alright Guy
Suh announced he'll donate $2.6 million to Nebraska once he signs an NFL contract. A little presumptuous to assume he'll even get drafted, don't you think? [Lincoln Journal Star]...

Absurdly Long Games Are Just The Greatest
The Mets' and Cardinals' 20-inning, 6-hour and 53-minute marathon was the most fascinating game we're likely to see all year. Let's do the post-mortem....

Strikeforce Post-Bout Brawl Is Childish, Exciting
Jake Shields was confronted during a post-fight interview by Jason "Mayhem" Miller demanding a rematch (Shields beat him in November). Because MMA wants to be the new boxing, their entourages got into it. Bonus: Gus Johnson gets righteous!...