k Page 3809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shane O'Brien's Favorite Trashy Bar Led To An Unscheduled Week Off
The defenseman showed up late to practice yesterday, so the Canucks told him not to bother showing up for the next few games. Why was he late? We've got an idea, and it'll come as no surprise to Vancouver fans....

The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Gets A Little More Clear
We still don't know who's telling the whole truth: the drunk kid who allegedly barged into Harold Reynolds' hotel room, or the MLB analyst. To help add detail, one former ESPN employee shares his HR experience from Disney World 1999....

Your Ferocious Middle-School Volleyball Spike Of The Day
Volleyball Spike Gone Painfully Awry is an underrated sports blooper, frequently ignored while its cousin Football To The Groin is heaped with praise. Thankfully, this kid is here to give us all some perspective. [Today's Big Thing]...

Tevez Grabs A Hat-Trick As Expected!
Those who followed The Spoiler's advice by having a little Monday night flutter on the Tevez scoring slippers — you're welcome. Go and treat yourself. Above are the all the goals!...

Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...

Come Along For The Tweet Parade Then Stay Facebook Friends Forever
We understand that there are plenty of other places many of you enjoy wasting your time on besides here. So we've finally upgraded our once decrepit social media platforms and made them all shiny and new....

Duke's Bracket Didn't Do So Well, Either
Duke's precognitive Final Four gear was not exactly accurate, but the t-shirt is subject to change. (Hopefully, it still comes with a Duke logo!) I also hope they don't spend all week watching Huskies' game film by mistake. [Thanks, Garth]...

Oregon Attorney General Asks, "You Paid Mike Bellotti <i>How Much</i>?"
Former Oregon AD Mike Bellotti will receive a $2.3 million severance package from a job that he held for nine months. The state's Justice Department seems to think that's a lot, especially once they heard that Bellotti never signed a contract....

Watch Xavier Miss Two Wide-Open Layups And Make Charles Smith Feel Better About Himself
Dash mentioned this earlier, and now here's the video: Xavier's Dee Dee Jernigan blows two layups, and Stanford's Jeanette Pohlen goes coast-to-coast and hits a circus layup to put Stanford in the Final Four. It's brutal. H/T Gamboa Constrictor....

Whites-Only Basketball Promoter Still Not A Racist (But Really Is)
The Daily Show does its Daily Show thing on Don "Moose" Lewis, who proves that his "No Black Guys" basketball league isn't racist by accusing the one black guy in the room of not respecting authority and stealing things....

New York Mets: The Undulating Curve Of Shifting Expectations
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The New York Mets....

Last Night's Winner: Layup Drills
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who say sound fundamentals are just as exciting as dunks. They're right....sometimes! Then again, sometimes lousy fundamentals can be exciting too....

Joshua Cribbs Gets His Wife The Worst Birthday Present Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....

Golf Cart Demolition Derby Is Not Acceptable During Tournaments
A U Of Washington golfer was sent to the hospital after being pinned between two golf carts. This isn't a black eye for the sport; I know people who only watch college golf for the crashes. [Seattle Times]...

The Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Another day, another report that St. John's has struck out with another candidate for its vacant coaching position. Doesn't anybody want this job? It's actually getting kind of pathetic....

Forget England's World Cup Hopes; How About Posh And Becks' Sex Life?
Beckham's air cast means he'll have to lie flat in bed, and therefore, according to the papers, not have sex for three months. I fail to see why lying still is an obstacle to this. [Daily Star]...

Because It's On! Dancing With The Stars Week 2 Live Blog
Will Erin Andrews dance again with her lower half covered in silly string? Those who follow the live blog might find this out....

The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Just Won't Die
Although Harold Reynolds summoned the MLB PR department to flatly deny he was ever in Disney World over Spring Break and drunkenly intruded upon by a hapless young man, other people say HR is lying. They sent along this photo....

Ibrahimovic Plays A Very Literal Back Pass!
Those of you seduced by some cracking Premier League weekend matches probably didn't feel the need to bathe in continental football waters to get your thrills....