k Page 3823 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brittney Griner Suspension Is Typical, But Not Enough
NCAA rules demand that a player who throws a punch in a game get an automatic one-game suspension. Brittney Griner's coach gave her one more to grow on but even if that's normal, it's not really what she deserves....

TRAPPED IN A CAGE! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. But first, an announcement....

And With That, Olympic Hockey Is Officially A Memory
Via "Wyshmaster" Wyshynski, excellent video of Sean Avery doing what Sean Avery does. Goading Max Talbot into a fight, then taunting him for his limp-wristed girly man slaps....

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....

Spring Training Win Way More Important Than Silly "World Series"
According to awesomely free Philly Metro, a ninth-inning rally by Wilson Valdez exacts "some measure of revenge" for the Yankees beating them at that whole "world championship" thing last fall. I guess one micron counts as "some measure."...

It's 6:30 AM, And Jake Delhomme Just Threw Another Interception
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tyson's Comeback Can't Ruin These Great Times For Boxing
People are going to point to the rumored Mike Tyson comeback, and laugh at the farce that boxing has become. Don't listen to them....

She's Like Danica, But Good
Venezuelan Milka Duno has signed on to run a full IndyCar season. Danica really has been a trailblazer. If Duno does well, maybe she can fail in NASCAR too! [Indy Star]...

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

Wizards Tickets Less Valuable Than A Pot Of Coffee
The NBA has an exciting new promotion where fans can earn two free tickets to a Washington home game simply by drinking five cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Or save up for a sixth cup....and get another cup of coffee!...

Heroic Patriot Defends America's Honor Through Property Damage
A Minnesota man was arrested for throwing a bench through a restaurant window after the gold medal game on Sunday. There's not a jury in the country that would convict him....

Clippers Fandom Now An Exercise In Spiritual Enlightenment
"For me, being a Los Angeles Clippers fan for over twenty years has taught me firsthand about the spiritual dimensions of faith and suffering, and has helped me better understand my own Hindu tradition." [Huffington Post]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "The Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "The Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor, who died of a heart attack in 2004. He was 42....

Kansas Coach Apparently Has Quite The Social Life (UPDATE)
It was a full house in Lawrence as KU downed K-State for the Big 12 Championship, including one well-known adult film star. So who hooked her up with floor seats?...

Manwhores, Gays, And Pantomimed Couch Lifting
The Oscars are on Sunday, which means it's time for me to spend the week processing any number of scenarios in which I am involved in the ceremony. I watch the stupid Oscars every year, and they grow more insufferable on an annual basis. Yet that will never stop me from daydreaming of the day I get ...

An Intern Introduction And A Poop-Related Apology
Hello. If you haven't heard, I'm the new Deadspintern (feel free to suggest a nickname). I hope you have enjoyed what I've done so far because it's been a real hoot....

What Are We To Do With Brittney Griner?
Baylor's Brittney Griner assaulted someone on a basketball court last night and after dealing with LeGarrette Blount and Elizabeth Lambert, it's still not clear what the appropriate level of hysterical moral outrage should be....

Last Night's Winner: Rioters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Maryland students, who finally got an excuse to smash the state with some real grownup civil disobedience. Wait, did Rick Reilly® sign off on this?...

Time To Start A Band Since We've Already Got A Kickass Album Cover
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Monster Dutch Reliever Hopes To Terrorize Twin Cities
The Twins have high hopes for Loek van Mil, a 7-foot-1 prospect from the Netherlands. Because betting on the freakishly tall foreigner has always worked out in other sports. [Pioneer Press]...