k Page 3835 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When A Giant Bear Suit Is His Only Home
The surest sign this recession has touched everything we love: even our mascots are now homeless....

Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...

Our Captain Nailed His Teammate's Wife First — USA! USA!
John Terry and England may be making headlines now, but only because the sloppy American media missed a big one: John Harkes was dropped from the 1998 World Cup squad because he was having an affair with Eric Wynalda's wife....

Take A Gander At Brett Favre's Disgusting Bruises
Bus Cook is emailing photos of Brett's black and blue parts to prove how banged up he was. Favre himself won't use it as an excuse for that interception, but don't worry....someone took care of that for him. [Jackson Clarion-Ledger]...

John Starks Wants To Help You Transition Out Of Your Pants
Starks on his new zippered-pants company: "Not just basketball, but tennis, soccer, track and field, whatever you have to do to be able to transition in and out of your pants, we want to be leaders in that space." [TrueHoop]...

Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...

Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...

Caron Butler Is A Gentle, Thoughtful Lover But Only With Paul Pierce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....

Rex Ryan's Wayward Finger Is A Problem, For Some Reason
Rex Ryan is very sorry that he held up a middle finger to a bunch of drunks who were cursing at him. It really put a damper on the ritualistic human combat taking place directly behind him....

January: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from January, ranked low to high...

Buddy Diliberto Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the dudes in dresses who came out to honor a former Saints broadcaster with a parade. Also known in New Orleans as "Sunday."...

That Pro Bowl Was Something To See
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hurricanes' IR List Grows By One Little Girl
Already last in conference, Carolina's 11-year-old National Anthem singer couldn't make last night's game after a sledding accident. Also, the news report can't decide how to spell her first name. Dark days in Raleigh. [WRAL]...

Lefty's Wedges Are A Welcome Tempest In A Teapot
No Tiger? No one cares. That's the PGA's dilemma as the 2010 season gets underway, and luckily they've been able to whip up some manufactured controversy over the questionable legality of their second-biggest star's clubs. Well played, golf....

Globetrotters On Ice!
The Globetrotters will take on the Washington Generals (possibly including Conan O'Brien) on an ice rink next week. If this sounds like an old trick, remember the Nets only look like they're playing on ice. [NY Times]...

Herschel Walker's MMA Debut Ugly As Expected
Walker's appearance for Strikeforce last night went as successfully as a match against an out-of-shape, inexperienced fighter, with the crowd booing you for using poor technique and not finishing him off can go. [Sherdog]...

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....