k Page 3839 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked by Justin Long! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

UT Proves That Lane Kiffin Was A Hardened Criminal
The smear campaign against the newly-departed continues in earnest, as state and university officials confirm he never held an in-state driver's license. Throw away the key!...

Rex Ryan's Convenient Superstition
Sexy Rexy has a pizza grease stain on his hoodie that he refuses to wash until the Jets lose. At least, that's the company line. Just as likely is that all of his clothes have grease stains. [NYDN]...

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Chris Kluwe Says Vikings Will Control Their Bowels Against Saints
I'd like to see this drawn up on the chalkboard: "We'll have a plan that doesn't involve pooping our pants," Kluwe said, per the St. Paul Pioneer Press.[Via PFT]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....

Last Night's Winner: No Comment
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like some creatures we can actually comment on without pissing off our lawyers....

The Aussie Open Is The World's Largest Frat Party
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Much More At Stake Than Super Bowl For Rex Ryan
Just got an email from Major League Eating president Rich Shea. If the Jets win Sunday, Eatapus Rex will get a seat in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. This is all the motivation Ryan needs. (Official invite below.)...

Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

Saints And Vikings Face Off — In Song! (Prince Update)
New Orleans has a rich history of zydeco, blues and jazz. Minnesota has Prince and...I dunno, The Hold Steady. But both fanbases have come out en masse to pay musical tribute to their teams....

Ferguson Jenkins Thinks Mark McGwire's Home Runs "Altered Lives"
Lots of people have leveled lots of charges at Mark McGwire over the last few years, but I'm not sure if any of them top the Fergie Jenkins theory that says McGwire ended pitchers' careers by taking them deep....

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

On The Gentle Path, Too: A Dispatch From The Front Lines Of Sex Addiction
Anonymous, a porn addict, is a longtime Deadspin reader and commenter who will soon enter the same sex-rehabilitation facility where Tiger Woods is reportedly receiving treatment. Here, Anonymous explains his own addiction and why Tiger's treatment is no PR ploy....

Did The Jets' Official Store Just Jinx Itself Out Of Business?
Jets fans will surely sleep soundly knowing that their Super Bowl gear is bought and paid for before the AFC Championship game even begins. (They even changed their URL to include "champions.") Nothing can possiblie go wrong now! [JetsShop]...

Miguel Cabrera Is On The Wagon
"Cabrera said today that he hasn't had a drink since the well-publicized incident in the last week of the regular season that saw him taken into custody after a domestic-abuse complaint was filed by his wife."[Freep]...

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile NFL Kickers?
There is an excellent chance that one of the two monumental playoff games this Sunday will hinge on a crucial field goal attempt—and an even better chance that whoever is asked to kick it will miss....

Frisky Italian TV Reporter Grabs David Beckham's Crotch
My Italian is spotty, but I think I can figure out what this woman is trying to do. I still don't understand why she needed the rubber gloves to grope Beckham. [WhoAteAllThePies]...

Today's Phrase That Pays: "Hockey Taliban"
Comparing overly loyal hockey fans to vile religious dictators should probably not cause any problems for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Bob Smizik. Seriously, those people are capable of anything! (Hockey fans, I mean.) [Post-Gazette; guy who is not Taliban via]...

Last Night's Winner: Anti-Tobacco Activists
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who can't decide which Durham-area basketball team they hate more. The Tar Heels or the Dukies? Now it's easier than ever to do both!...