k Page 3847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Return Of The Hi-Top Fade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bruce Pearls Sticks Gun Foot In Mouth
Four players suspended after being caught with handguns? No problem, says Pearl. "We still have got weapons." [Kentucky Sports Radio]...

A Fitting End To The Raiders' Season
JaMarcus Russell reportedly blew off the year's final team meeting to hang out at the Palms in Vegas. I hear they have an excellent breakfast buffet there. [Oakland Tribune]...

"I Like To Fight In The Nude" - Behind Kobe Bryant Deathmatch Fiction
What if Kobe and LeBron fought to the death? We go inside the mind of the man who's played out that scenario in gory, hilarious detail....

Austin Takes The Lead In Menstrual BCS Trash Talk
We're still two days away from the fake National Championship Game, but it's not to early for fans of Texas/Alabama to start hurling gross insults at each other. Unfortunately, Alabama's nickname makes it a little too easy for some....

ESPN Enters Euclidean Space
ESPN's 3-D channel debuts this June with the World Cup opener, leaving the network one dimension shy of the spacetime continuum. [ESPN]...

Today In TMZish Sports: Matt Kemp Gets Handsy And A Dwarf Cock-Blocks A Boxer (UPDATE)
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Your NFL Coaching Carousel Update
In these trying times, it's hard to know who is actually in charge of your awful NFL team. We'll do our best to keep you informed of these frequently changing and occasionally riveting announcements....

A Boise State Fiesta Bowl Win Makes Everyone On The Field Amorous (KOGOD Update)
Remember the last time Boise State won the Fiesta, Statue of Liberty hero Ian Johnson got down on one knee and proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. Freshman o-lineman Michael Ames also experienced the spoils of victory....

A*HOLE COACH DIGEST: Special Rick Majerus Edition
There are asshole coaches, and then there is Rick Majerus, the St. Louis head basketball coach, who is legendary for his humor, his size, his crassness and, of course, for starring in Just The Ten Of Us....

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

Mark Sanchez: One Of The Poise, Again
"Mark Sanchez's teammates and coaches have noticed something different about him recently," Rich Cimini writes. "They've seen more poise than before..." It's back! [New York Daily News]...

Reruns Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL teams who beat another team just to win the right to play that same team again. Why did they even bother?...

Zorn Officially Out
Guess no one told the Redskins that they could sleep in today. Jim Zorn was escorted from the building at 4:45 a.m. this morning and Bruce Allen didn't even buy him breakfast. [ESPN]...

The Zorn Nonentity
As I write this, the Redskins are playing for pride and their jobs...and are struggling against Billy Volek and the Charger subs. It's time for Jim Zorn to pay the piper....

Masochist USC Punishes Self For Mayo Shenanigans
Ah, January, when the talk turns from NCAA football sanctions to NCAA basketball sanctions. First up: USC. It's as predictable as the changing of the seasons....

Pat White Carted Off After Helmet-To-Helmet Hit (Update)
For now, here's the highlight on NFL.com. But who's got that video? UPDATE: We do!...

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

Introducing: The Curtis Painter Rule
The NFL is reportedly considering persuading playoff-bound teams to play their starters by rewarding them with additional draft picks. Sounds good in the wake of last week's Colts abortion, but let's back the fuck up for a second....

And Here Are The New Fake Nike LeBron Shoes
Yes, they're orange and blue. Yes, they have a version of the I ♥ NY logo on the soles. UPDATE: Flim-flammery!...