k Page 3857 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...

Joakim Noah To LeBron James: "You're A Jerk"
Last night's Cavs-Bulls game was marked by an argument between LeBron James and Joakim Noah, occasioned by King James dancing on the sidelines during Cleveland's 101-87 win. The b-word was apparently thrown, ooh!...

Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...

Winter Of Discontent: Learning To Love The Vancouver Games
Did you know that the Jordan Palmer of amateur sports, the Winter Olympics, happens this February? It's OK — red-blooded sports fans can't possibly be expected to transition from the rough and tumble to Vancouver's prissy wonderland. Or can they?...

It Would've Been Better If He Said It While Wearing An Elephant Head
Nothing better to do this morning, Lane Kiffin? Actually, telling the (already drunk) SEC Gameday crowd that 'Bama would bounce the Gators is pretty cool. And mentioning that Sabes is penalized less than Urbs? Suddenly my Corso's all swollen-and-tingling. [Fanhouse]...

Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories
Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!...

Just Like A Kids' Book Out There
The Minneapolis Star Tribune is already pimping a book about "American institution" Brett Favre's first season in Minnesota, "the most memorable in the history of the franchise." This seems presumptuous. More breathless prose after the jump. Plus, an important announcement....

Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
A couple weeks ago I wrote a post detailing ten questions to ask a woman before you propose to her. The most critical omission on this list was noted by MikeSmrek:...

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Rich Rodriguez: NCAA Investigation A Lot Like Hurricane Katrina
"It's really kind of ironic that the New Orleans Saints overcame the hurricane a few years back....We've had a few hurricanes of our own. We had a big hurricane in August....but don't tell me this team is a failure." [Freep/Detroit4Lyfe]...

Last Night's Winner: LeGarrette Blount
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Oregon's LeGarrette Blount (not pictured) who only played two games this season, but left his mark on both. And on a couple of faces....

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fame And Fortune On The Razor's Edge
Was it fate that brought down the dullest man in sports? Or was it something...sharper? We take a look at the history of Gillette pitchmen, and the woes that befell them soon after. Presenting, the Gillette Curse....

Our Nation's Athletes' Traffic Violations Are No Longer Below-The-Fold News
Adrian Peterson was ticketed for doing 109 in a who-cares-how-many mph zone. But a police spokesperson took pains to assure the press that the traffic stop was "very routine." This is the world we live in now. [Pioneer Press]...

Mark Mangino Now Has More Time For That NordicTrack In His Garage
Craggs was wrong: Mangino wasn't fired, he "resigned." After a parade of former players claiming abuse, Kansas finally made like the Catholic Church and decided it's time to move on. Baby Mangino sheds a tear. And burps and poops. [KU]...

Looking For Dick
This is what it means to be a Bills fan: You spend your December days hunched over a team photo like some Bletchley Park code cracker, looking for proof that your recently shitcanned coach has been photoshopped into oblivion....

Mark Mangino Mistreats His Players In Cruel, Exotic Ways
The hand you see here belongs to a former Kansas defensive lineman, who says that in 2003, surly parade balloon Mark Mangino made him "bear-crawl" across a hot AstroTurf field. It was punishment for missing, oh yes, a weigh-in....

What's-her-face Says She Didn't Do Tiger And Golf Media Is Crestfallen
Tiger Woods round-up...There are more allegations of Uchitelian proportions suggesting the other-other-other woman is has now denied all previous reports of her boinking Tiger. Gossip pages are thriving, but the rest of the golf media gets wistful....

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Lenny Dykstra
We continue our week-plus look at this year's Sportshuman Of The Year nominees with the athletic embodiment of our financial crisis: Lenny Dykstra. Handsome devil, and charming too....

O.J. Simpson Photographed With His Nordberg Hanging Out
From the brave people who brought you nude Joe Dimaggio comes...nude O.J. Simpson. Note: this photo was taken by Harry Benson and not stolen from Grady Sizemore's girlfriend's computer. [The Daily Beast]...