k Page 3868 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tells Us Something We Don't Know, Anonymous Sign Maker
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

World Series Open Thread: It's Always Poultry In Philadelphia
We (most likely) bid farewell to the 2009 season with this absurd tableau of a gentleman in a chicken suit, a sad Tigger and a clutch of Citizens Bank Park security guards, beseeching them to kindly settle the fuck down....

The Terrifying Horrors Of Sports-O-Ween
We've tallied the results and as suspected....your Halloween costumes kind of stunk. Don't sweat it though. At least you weren't burned alive for going to a Scottish soccer match dressed as a sheep....

American Who Won NYC Marathon Isn't American Enough For Some People
American Meb Keflezighi won the New York City Marathon yesterday, which seemed pretty cool until a couple of wet blankets came along to remind everyone he's only "technically" American....

Cranky, Insufferable Newspaper Boob Vs. Cranky, Insufferable Sports-Radio Boob: Who Ya Got?
The New York Post's Phil Mushnick takes off his white glove and slaps Mike Francesa right across the cheek, calling him a liar and a Jew-basher and challenging him to a footrace. [NY Post, Bob's Blitz]...

Brandon Spikes Will Blind You If He Has To (Update)
If Georgia's Washaun Ealey didn't want his eyes gouged out by Florida's Brandon Spikes, then maybe he shouldn't have worn a helmet that allows for pesky weaknesses like "vision."...

Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend (Again)
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by pretty much just owning these playoffs. He's like some amazing mythical creature!...

Return Of The "Rock N' Roll" Tongue Bath
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award
In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"...

Celebrating A Half-Century Of Common Sense
Today is the 50th anniversary of Jacques Plante first donning a mask in a game. Which is good, because instead of debating the necessity of fighting in hockey, we'd be wondering why our goalies keep dying every few weeks. [WaPo]...

The Most Extreme PAT Ever
A high schooler boomed his kick into a transformer, knocking out power to the neighborhood. I assume the remainder of the game was played in slow motion, with sparks cascading around them, like a John Woo film. [Birmingham News]...

Badass Teenage Girl To Be Protected From Herself
A Dutch 14-year-old has been placed with child protection services to prevent her from sailing solo around the world. That, and not, say, being pregnant with a crack baby, neatly sums up the differences between our two countries. [AP]...

Olympic Torch Carried By Athlete On Steroids
The Vancouver games are only starting the torch relay, and we've already got a doping controversy. Oh, Olympics, how we've missed you....

Tom Cable Is An Equal Opportunity Puncher
His ex-wife and ex-girlfriend both tell Outside The Lines that Cable treated them like assistant coaches. Meanwhile, JaMarcus Russell goes woefully unstruck. [ESPN]...

J.J. Redick's Got A Rap Album
Of course he does. The Magic guard will be heading a "supergroup," which is a generous term when Jonathan Clay Redick is the most famous member....

Starbury And The Knicks, Together In Fail For Eternity
Stephon, true to his word, bought a ticket and sat in the front row at the Knicks game last night. But he was asked to leave, because the ticket he bought wasn't for the front row. Nothing ever changes....

Didn't They See Our Post Yesterday? Blackface Is Not Cool
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Situation Where A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Appeared In Blackface For Halloween Will Probably Not End Well
When are people going to learn that you cannot upload photos to your Facebook page if you don't want them to get out? What we have here (allegedly) is a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader dressed as Lil' Wayne. In blackface....

A-Rod News From The 'You Can't Make This Stuff Up' Department...
Like I do every day, when I want a dose of hard-hitting sports news, I turn to US Weekly. The periodical has not one but two bits of information regarding our heroic, purple-lipped, World Series-strikeout machine....