k Page 3874 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Let's Just Watch This One More Time...
Even after watching this (literally) 12 times last night, I still can't get enough of it. SBNation had this vid up pretty early so we'll give those lovable bastards the nod....

Paranoid Angels Fans Accuse Mariano Rivera Of Throwing Spitballs
Angels fans have lost their freaking minds over the video below, which allegedly catches Yankees closer Mariano Rivera in the act of spitting on a baseball, right there in front of God and Joe Buck and 45,000 fans....

The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....

There Goes The Greatest Halloween Costume That Ever Lived
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

D:LKFJ:LDFKJ:LDFKJ:LDKFJ:LDFK!!! (UPDATE)
Honestly. See you tomorrow!...

Yes, That Was Pat Sajak And A-Rod Groping Jeter's Buttocks
Alex Rodriguez's magic tush massage could not overcome the haunting Sajak voodoo gaze as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim staved off the Yankee gorilla trouncing for one more day. Something called Jeff Mathis is today's hero....

StubHub Offering Great Deals On Mythical Mets-Cubs World Series Tickets
For baseball fans who have seen their teams' championship dreams already extinguished, October is the cruelest month. So it doesn't help when some mean website rubs salt in the wounds with offers of imaginary playoff tickets....

To Sell Nets, NBA Might Have To Look The Other Way On The Soviet Stuff
Running a financial and criminal background check on a Russian oligarch is not as easy as it sounds. "Information can be had, but you have to be prepared to accept the grayness." Wait, that's exactly how it sounds. [NYTimes]...

Armen Keteyian Will Solve This Steve McNair Business Himself
You probably thought that whole ugly Steve McNair business was over and done with, right? Guess again. You will never be rid of this story, because CBS News is still on the case—the Cold Case, if you will....

Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....

Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....

Redskins Season Quickly Devolving Into Roland Emmerich Film
Oh, man. This Washington Redskins season. Let this be a lesson to you other teams: if you're not gonna contend for the playoffs, please have the courtesy to implode in the most hilarious manner possible....

Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....

Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch
The Liquor Kicker got cited for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after stumbling from Heinz Field down to McFadden's Bar after the game yesterday. Fortunately, he got pinched by 9 p.m. so he could still get his sleep. [WPXI]...

Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by making everyone forget how much they hate him. Take his hand and he'll lead you there.......

Yep. That Guy Is Unconscious
In case you missed it, here is super middleweight Jermain Taylor getting knocked the eff out with 15 seconds left in his fight against Arthur Abraham on Saturday. WHY ARE YOU EVEN COUNTING? Get the man some help! [BSO/ESPN]...

USC's Blake Ayles Thanks Notre Dame Fans For Their Hospitality
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Duke Is Back, And They Are Melodramatic
There are some unfamiliar names on this year's Blue Devils squad. Thankfully, they're making sure they give us things to make fun of them for....

You Don't Mess With Montana's Communications Students
Following an order from the coach to his team to stop talking to their reporters, Montana's student newspaper struck back in a beautifully catty way: they started covering the Grizzlies' opponents....