k Page 3878 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Will Black Players Refuse To Play For Rush Limbaugh's Rams?
From a purely political standpoint, letting Rush Limbaugh buy into your football team is already an iffy proposition, but there's a more practical football issue to consider as well. Will some top players refuse to work for him?...
What’s The Next Big Late Night Scandal? LET’S PLAY ODDSMAKER!
I was deeply offended by David Letterman's admission last week that he shits where he eats. Not on any moral issue, mind you, but because it gave me a mental image of David Letterman fucking....
This Is The Headline That Haunts Matt Holliday's Dreams
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Fascists Sponsoring Marathons Now, Apparently
By the time you wake up tomorrow, you might be the winner of Milwaukee's Lakefront Marathon. Because every time they declare a victor, they turn around and get disqualified....
The True American Way To Ball Hawk: Sue
The Happy Youngster might be on his way to law school after reading this one; a Miami family has forced the Phillies to return a home run ball by threat of a lawsuit. America!...
It's Always Bitey In Philadelphia
We're still trying to sort out what went down, but it looks like Kris Letang's hand got a little too close to Scott Hartnell's mouth. He might want to get tested for rabies....
Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...
Old-School Skunk And The Ripe-Tomato Eyes Of Pete Johnson
"Dark Side of the Locker Room" is a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
Breaking: Member Of New York Sports Media Writes Insightful Derek Jeter Story
Ian O'Connor provides a tangible reason for Captain Intangibles' rediscovered greatness: a fitness trainer who loosened up Jeter's stiff left hip, which previously had turned him into statuary any time a ball was hit toward second. So clutch! [Bergen Record]...
Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...
A Solo On The Toy Drum
You've read our "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, in which journalists share their bizarre encounters with sports figures and, frequently, their genitalia. Consider this the reverse: Sports figures share their (and, perhaps, their genitalia's) bizarre encounters with journalists....
The Shiancoesaurus Made Another Subtle, Brief Appearance Monday Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Time To Clear The Air Jordan
MJ will be a special assistant to the Americans at this weekend's Presidents Cup, but he won't have his signature cigar in hand. Why not? Liberals!...
Marshall's AD Is Surrounded By College Girls
Until he can find permanent housing, Mike Hamrick is living in an all-female dorm wing. He's living every man's dream, except the women are all half his age. So, yeah, he's living every man's dream. [The Parthenon]...
Hawkeye Goes From Fan To Fanatic To Psychotic
At first this reads like the further pussification of sports, where a fan gets arrested for heckling a player. But it quickly takes a turn into Annie Wilkes territory....
Australian Racing Fans Forced To Be Slightly Less Drunk Than Normal
Australia's legendary Bathurst 1000 motorcar race has been besieged by drunkenness in recent years, so this year police are cracking down. Only one case of beer, per person, per day. Show some restraint, people! [Telegraph/Sports Rubbish]...
World Can At Last Make A Germane "Dirty Sanchez" Pun
QB Mark Sanchez was fined $5,000 for his cheap shot on the Saints' Jonathan Vilma, in which Sanchez launched himself at Vilma's knees during Darren Sharper's 99-yard interception return for a touchdown. Such poise! [Star-Ledger, Pro Football Talk]...
WFC Open Thread
Phillies vs. Rockies. Cliff Lee vs. Ubaldo Jimenez. Smelly Cheese Steak Heads vs. Tongue Bathers. [Yahoo!]...
Ron Artest Politely Asks Blog Critic To Fellate Something
Writing an "open letter" to Ron Artest demanding that he clean up his act and then emailing it to him seemed like such a good idea. Who could have guessed Artest would respond with, "Suck a cock"?...