k Page 3887 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hair Boy and Copper Girl Fight For Airtime Supremacy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
It's Bizarro Phillies Dad!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
LeBron Conquers Hollywood, One Wacky Hijink At A Time
The geniuses behind "City Slickers 2" are penning "Fantasy Basketball Camp," starring LeBron James. You might have seen this story already today, but it gives me an excuse to run this photo. [Ain't It Cool News]...
I'll See Your Vagina And Raise You A Penis
Due to an obscure legal loophole called The Constitution, business can't restrict ladies' nights promotions to women. So when a man entered a ladies' poker tournament in Atlantic City, guess what happened?...
WWE's Linda McMahon Scores Key Endorsement In Actual, Not-Fake Senate Bid
McMahon, wife of Vince, CEO of WWE, enemy of budget deficits, is running for Chris Dodd's Senate seat. "Connecticut needs Linda McMahon," says former wrestler Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. "She is the opposite of Nancy Pelosi." Senton bomb! [Daily Beast]...
Mark Grace And This Tramp-Stamped Bartender Have Apparently Met
Mark Grace is the type of ex-athlete Kevin Costner wishes he could play in movies but just can't because he's Kevin Costner. Hugging Harold Reynolds uncovered a story about Grace that, if true, enhances his reputation as baseball's patron rogue....
Kimbo Slice Faces Reality
He lost his last fight in 14 seconds to a pink-haired nobody, and ever since Kimbo Slice's career has been on life support. "I got six shorties at the crib," he says. "They gotta eat, you know what I'm saying?"...
Leodis McKelvin Forgives Teens For Unauthorized Yard Work
Bills kick returner Leodis McKelvin will not press charges against the two teenagers who defaced his lawn after his back-breaking fumble against the Patriots. He actually had the vandalism charges in hand, but then he dropped them. [ ESPN]...
Cowboys Could Set Attendance Record, Still Get Blacked Out
The Cowboys have sold over 20,000 standing-room tickets for their official stadium opener Sunday and have a shot to break the NFL attendance record....if only they can can convince a few people to buy actual seats....
Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The White Supremacist Plot To Bring Down The NFL
The KKK is getting more sophisticated. They've got public relations people, political candidates, and now...computer geeks planning to disrupt NFL games by jamming quarterbacks' helmet radios....
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...
The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....
"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: La Scala Opera House (Teatro alla Scala; Milan, Italy)
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: La Scala Opera House....
Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...
Jesus Is The Derek Jeter Of Christianity
He's good at what he does (for Jeter, it's baseball; for Jesus, it's healing the sick or whatever). People love him. He says and does the right things at all the right times....